


Unresolved

by Lichtschwert



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Canon based kidnapping, Canon-Typical Violence, Dark elements, Emperor Kylo Ren, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff, Force Bond (Star Wars), Humor, Knights of Ren - Freeform, Misunderstandings, Past Pregnancy & Childbirth, Possessive Kylo Ren, Post-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Reylo - Freeform, Sexual Tension, Too dangerous to be kept alive, suggestion of non-con touch during force hold
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:54:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 24,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26490727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lichtschwert/pseuds/Lichtschwert
Summary: Ten years after "Force Awakens" Rey has to deal with a lot—her ex-lover has become Emperor, a terrorist organization wants to kill all force users and a new Sith order has emerged—in other words, everybody wants to capture her and her children.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 12
Kudos: 28





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers, thank you for reading this story. I'm currently trying to figure out where I want to take it and also know it needs a lot of re-writing. I'm going to focus on my other story "Dogmatic" for now, and I'll return to this later. Thank you for being part of the journey.

The halls in the abandoned Jedi Temple were alight with the afternoon sun as Rey took a deep breath. The last rays of sunshine shone on her face and she could smell the scent of leaves from the surrounding forest. It was so beautiful here and she really wished that she could stay longer.

Yet she knew that she had to leave. Something was incredibly wrong.

Exhaustion threatened to overtake her. She was so tired - not only from the training, but also from keeping that darned force bond closed. Yet she couldn’t shake off the feeling that it was actually the force that felt all wrong around her. But she knew  she couldn't afford to explore the sense of wrongness too deeply, without inadvertently connecting to him.

At that, her thoughts started to drift involuntarily. She wondered what he was doing. Could she even dare to hope that he still thought about her? Had she been more to him than just a moment? She knew that she should chastise herself and stop with those painful thoughts. What good would it do to torture herself like that? What had happened was in the past. She hadn't seen him in five years and he probably had moved on. Or even worse, she had just been a force-sensitive pawn to him. 

However, in the last five days he had been trying to break her walls relentlessly. Something must have happened. Or … her brain finally turned itself back on … it was a trap. Probably designed by Snoke, the evil, creepy and ugly guy who controlled him?

Nevertheless, a scary thought crossed her mind - but what if he was in danger? The temptation to open the force bond for a moment - to make sure he was alright, she told herself - was unrelenting. She had a hard time concentrating on anything else. But no. She had sworn to herself that she would protect these children at all costs. And that meant protecting them from him too. No matter what, they had to leave before he could find them.

Rey interrupted her distressing inner monologue and took another deep breath. Her lungs filled with the smell of nature and it reminded her that nobody knew where they were. It should have calmed her down. But it was moments like this where she felt the most alone. She knew she was strong enough to get through any hardship she might face and she wasn’t scared of loneliness. She had endured more than her fair share of solitude.

Yet wasn’t it an ironic turn of fate that she turned out to be connected to a cosmic superpower which for ages had created orders that studied and used it together and yet here she was - alone. Not only that, but it was up to her to protect these children and ensure that they found a better path in the force than all that had come beforehand?

Because who was she kidding - the Jedi were as lost as the Sith had been. They were all making up rules about the force as they went. No emotional attachments here. Rule of two there. Seriously, their logic had no reason.

Rey looked around the big rotunda, where the sunset was illuminating the large stained-glass windows and casting every color imaginable. In the middle of the rotunda was a bathtub made out of white stone. It was surrounded by candle stands and Rey proceeded to slowly light each one of them. She filled the bathtub with hot water and observed how the water slowly dripped into small ridges along the tub that led to each window and created steam that added a mystical feeling with the incoming light.

The sight of it all was beyond magnificent and she again was sad that she couldn’t share this with anyone else. It’s not like she could jump out into space and say “hey everybody, look at the cool old temple I found”. A small, secret thought betrayed her true emotions. She was sad she couldn’t show it to  _ him _ . Why was she lying to herself? She was devastated that she couldn’t show him all of the knowledge about the force and artifacts connected with it that she had found in the last years.

Enough! Better to stop worrying about the past and enjoy her last moments on Galucia. This planet had been their home for the last four years and she would miss it dearly. The sister planet of Felucia was often believed to be impossible to inhabit due to its dangerous animals and inhospitable jungles. It was a small planet with far fewer resources than Felucia, and thanks to that, Galucia had been basically ignored by the old Empire. As far as Rey could tell, she had been the first to find this old temple in centuries.

Although the temple hadn’t belonged to the Jedi per se, Lightsiders had built it. In the inscriptions on the walls that Rey had managed to translate, the founders referred to themselves as ‘successors of the Je’daii’. This temple was filled with so many valuable books and even a few holocrons. She had spent hours with the children going through each one of them and practicing whatever force skill they could harness.

It was in one of those ancient books, that Rey had read about this room and its mystical bath. It had been used for a form of meditation that could help its bathers reach an extreme level of soul cleansing. This was exactly what she was planning on doing. Her soul needed cleansing after all, but for what? She might have not thought that part through really, but a bath sounded amazing after trudging around Jakku for years. And it was all for her force research, right?

Just as the book had instructed, after she finished filling up the bathtub, she added some of the flowers she had collected. The flowers emanated the most amazing aromas she had ever smelled in her life. The bathtub and the room had been designed in such a way that they kept on generating more, and more steam. Being a desert rat, this bath (her first bath ever actually) was the biggest luxury she could have imagined.

She slowly lowered herself into the tub and delighted in how every tense muscle in her body started to relax as it was engulfed by the warm water. It felt like a big warm hug. Oh she definitely was getting addicted to the feeling by the second. More slowly, she lowered her head under the water and delighted in the feeling of her whole body being submerged. When she re-emerged she felt so fresh - like a new human.

With both her arms outstretched on the tub, she leaned backwards and stretched herself. Why had nobody told her about baths before? Well, the truth is that nobody had told her anything really.

She had quickly learned that nobody would teach her anything about the force and she had to grasp any knowledge or connection she could by herself. Her anger was rising again. Luke … how could that old man sleep at night? If she were ever in a position, where she had knowledge that could help someone else… she would share it. But that old hermit was not only hoarding the last remaining living knowledge of the force, he had been taunting her. He … No, she was drifting towards that anger in her again.

This was not what this bath was about. Calming thoughts she told herself. So she added more of the flowers into the water and forced herself to let go. The children were asleep in the other room. Beru had fallen asleep right away but Bail had struggled as always. She didn’t blame him, force nightmares were horrible. You never knew if they were visions or somebody’s else’s memories.

It was so interesting, Beru was five years younger than Bail, and she had only awakened in the force a week ago, yet she had no trouble controlling her mind in the force stream. Bail had been working with the force so much longer and although his physical force strength was beyond comprehension, he definitely struggled with mental control. Beru on the other hand, could probably read her thoughts already. This made her pause. That feeling of immediate danger had begun shortly after Beru had awakened.

Wait, she was supposed to relax in this bath. Yet here she was again. Spinning theories about something that she was only starting to understand. For one minute, she would not think about the force and she would not think about all the dangers her children were in - especially from their father- and she would not think of where they possibly could go next. She would relax. Relax … add some warm water and another drop of that oil and relax ... 

She was finally drifting away in-between the conscious world and dreamland. The throbbing pain in her neck was subsiding as she submerged herself in that blessed water. Training was definitely taking a toll on her body. She had had no idea what therapeutic effect a bath could have. She was just considering whether it would be wise to pack some of those flowers that she had used for the bath, when ...

When she heard it.

It was so clear - as if somebody right next to her had spoken.

A voice echoed across the room, fading softly.

"Rey..."

_ This is how my brain imagines what I desire the most _ , she told herself.

She should hate him for what he had done. Yet ever so often the sound of a fly or the wind in the leaves made her turn around with hope of seeing him again. How naive the heart was.

But life was no longer about about her. She had others to protect.

To blame her nostalgia for imagining his voice would be her first mistake of the night. Because it had been his voice.

Rey sat up abruptly and sloshed water from the tub . The sun had set and the rotunda was dark, except for the few candles that flickered in the steam-filled room. 

It felt both gorgeous and warm, but now Rey was shivering. Everything felt different and she could have sworn she had heard his voice. Were her walls down? Was he talking to her through the force bond and she couldn’t control it?

Life had taught her enough to listen to her instincts, so she jumped out of the bathtub and ran towards the towels. She dried herself off and put on her underwear and breast bands. But where was her lightsaber? It was no longer lying next to the towels. She tried to calm herself - maybe she had forgotten it in the other room with the kids? No - she hadn’t. 

Her overgrown hair was sticking to her neck and back and even though she had toweled off, water was accumulating on her skin from the steam and dripping onto the floor. She was getting colder by the second. Just as she reached for her tunic, her whole body froze. Flexing her muscles uselessly she could only stand and feel a lone drop of water slowly dripping down her spine. She couldn’t move.

Her eyes widened in panic as she realized that it was force energy that was holding her immobile. And that’s when she heard it ... Somebody got up right behind her. Every fiber in her being knew that it was  _ him _ . He was walking slowly towards her, but since he was directly behind her and she had tried to turn around to no avail, she could not see him.

She heard his footsteps approach her slowly. She wanted to scream, but no sound came out of her mouth. She wanted to fight, but her muscles would not move. 

She felt a sudden warmth on her neck and realized in despair, that it was his breath as he whispered “Found you.”

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

There was silence for a moment as she could have sworn that he was inhaling her smell, but then again her heart was beating so wildly that she could have imagined it.

For so many years she had envisioned how they would meet again. Well, in no scenario was she dripping wet in her underwear, and frozen in place. 

She wasn’t sure if her heart was beating like crazy out of fear and panic or traitorous happiness to be near him again. No, it should be fear. What was wrong with her? She knew who he was and she should run away as far as she could. As she had done before.

He still said nothing more. But out of nowhere, she felt his gloved hand take her long wet hair and move it over her shoulder. She shuddered at the sudden intimate touch.

“I waited for this moment so long.” He finally said with that deep voice that shook her to the core.

His hand started to wander on her neck by her ear and then ever so slowly it trailed down her spine as if it was re-tracing a path he had taken there long ago. 

Rey’s breath stopped. Where was her self-control when she needed it? But instead of control she felt desire. A heat started building in her and it was a heat that had only ever awoken for him. She longed to turn around, to see him. But his force freeze was stronger than ever before. And so she couldn’t do anything but anticipate where his hand would go next.

It was trailing lower, and lower and Rey felt his gloved finger as it hovered right at the base of her spine. There he drew a circle with the water still on her skin.

"Mine," he growled.

A side of Rey melted to hear words like those. She wanted to belong to someone so much. No - she wanted to be his so much. But another side of her revolted - she would belong to him on her conditions and when she wanted to. Therefore she stiffened and he must have felt it as he retracted his hand immediately.

He finally came in front of her and truth be told, she had to hold her breath again. She had forgotten how inhumanly tall he was.

Kylo Ren, in all his might, towered over her and some of the steam brushed past his figure and swirled to the sides. He was wearing black armor with big black metal shoulder shields that made him look even wider. His gloves went up higher and had black metal blades from the wrist up. He had a thick and heavy breast plate made of the same metal engraved in foreign writing. He looked dressed for war.

On his belt two lightsaber were hanging. (Wait - one was hers! Well, it was really Luke’s; she kind of didn’t return it. He didn’t deserve it from her point of view for the way he treated her. Whatever - her lightsaber.)

He looked more intimidating than ever.

“At last,” his breath was hitching, as if he wasn’t as much in control of himself as he had been a minute ago. “At last mine."

He lifted her chin up so she had to look up into his eyes. And it was his eyes that made her shudder the most. They were black with lust, hovering over every inch of her skin. They were devouring her like there was nothing in the world but her.

His hand remained right there - on her jaw. He was slowly leaning down and his lips were inching closer to hers. And she wanted this. Oh how she wanted this. She wanted to feel his lips on hers even though it would be her downfall.

That’s when a thud shook the whole room. The door on the other side of the room behind Rey had exploded open with a strong force push. The steam in the room started swirling around and escaping through the door, clearing up the view.

Rey couldn’t turn around, but she could feel Bail in the force and she could hear the distinct noise of a lightsaber being turned on. “Get away from her!” Bail yelled as he stormed towards Kylo. Kylo stepped away from Rey and chuckled. “And who are you, child? Aren’t you too young to be playing with a lightsaber?”

This was bad. Rey knew she had to distract Kylo. She dropped all of her walls at once and was hit with Kylo’s presence in the force. That hadn’t been the smartest move on her part. His presence was numbing all of her senses at once. Such power was hard to imagine concentrated in one being. He had not been this powerful before. How was this possible? Darkness immediately encircled her and filled her with desire for more. More power. More lust. She was trying to shut the bond again, but she had no chance. "Nah nah, this stays open." She heard Kylo's voice in her mind in her head as if she had thought it herself. “Welcome back.” They had no chance against such power. The thought crossed her mind before she could control it and she was sure that Kylo heard it. If nothing else, his smile was proof enough.

If she couldn't close the bond anymore, she could concentrate all her re-acquired force on breaking his control over her. Now that she wasn’t fighting the bond, she slowly managed to move her head. This managed to distract Kylo so that he paid the boy less attention. As she turned her head, she managed to see Bail start running towards Kylo with full strength.

He was attacking Kylo with his lightsaber and hitting him from all angles with endless energy. Yet Kylo just smiled and deflected every single hit with small movements of his saber. Wait, why was his saber so stable? It was a gorgeous blood red and it didn’t fluctuate in the typical “I’m going to implode any second here” style. Ok. One question at a time.

Kylo moved his hand and Rey was frozen in place again. “Leave mom alone!” Bail screamed and that’s when Kylo froze and his smile disappeared. “Mom?" He looked at Rey with something akin to agony. "Well, well. I will find out who your father is, child, and then, I will destroy him.” She could feel that his composure was giving away to his more typical anger and jealousy that he was prone to.

Leave it to Kylo to be stupid enough not to realize that he was standing in front of his own son. How many kids with hair and ears like that does he think are not related to him in the galaxy? Maybe it was because Bail had NOT inherited that nose?

Bail was very tall for his ten years and his adorable big ears were sticking out from his black hair. His eyes were unquestionably a copy of Leia’s. To tell the truth, Rey didn’t see much resemblance to herself in Bail - with the exception of his humor maybe. But Han could have taken credit for that as well. 

Kylo was still only deflecting Bail's hits, but it was obvious that he could kill Bail with one blink of his eye if he lost his temper. Considering his track record, that could happen any moment. She tried to scream, but her lips were still frozen. That’s when panic really started hitting her. She had to stop this.

Bail was losing his initial momentum and Kylo was pushing him towards a wall now. Rey called her lightsaber into her frozen hand with all her power and was happily surprised that it flew right to her. She felt so much power come back to her, now that she didn’t have to build and keep the walls up endlessly. She managed to power it on and both sides of the saber turned on showing its true power as a laser staff.

This action entertained Kylo enough for Bail to get a hit in. He grazed Kylo’s left arm with his lightsaber. Kylo froze and stared at Bail. The hit had really no effect on Kylo thanks to his ridiculous shoulder armor shields, but maybe it still offended him. Rey didn’t see Kylo’s face and couldn’t decipher his emotions over the bond. It hit her that she was still frozen in place in only her underwear - but at least she had her laser staff.

Meanwhile Bail had the biggest satisfied smirk on his face and shrugged his shoulders in a way that screamed Han Solo. Kylo wavered and then looked bewildered at Rey. His eyes were screaming the question. Rey wanted to laugh so badly in this ridiculous situation. Yes, obviously he was your son. Please look at those adorable ears one more time. The last thoughts made it again to Kylo over the bond - she had to stop projecting. Kylo was looking at her with pure confusion now.

Bail used that moment to throw himself with his saber at Kylo, but Kylo force pushed him against the wall. He was holding him hanging in the air against it, when he spoke “So Rey, do you want to explain this to me? This is my son?” He mentally forced the lightsaber out of Bail’s hands and it flew directly into his own outstretched hand.

Kylo was walking towards Bail now with both his and the boy’s lightsabers alight. One lightsaber was grazing the floor and sparks were flying to each side. 

However, before he could reach him, a small girl with sleepy eyes and ruffled hair of brown waves walked into the room. While you couldn’t really see the resemblance between Rey and Bail, Beru looked like a mini version of Rey down to the freckles on her nose. The little girl was holding her stuffed toy and rubbing her eyes.

Beru looked first at Rey, then at Bail and then at Kylo. When her eyes reached Kylo, a fury that Rey had never seen before in the child emerged and she started yelling “You promised, you wouldn’t hurt anybody! You promised!”

In that instant, everything in the room was lifted off the floor. Beru was new to the Force and she often couldn’t control the effects of her feelings on her powers. And her powers were scary, to say the least. Rey had always known that Beru was even more powerful than she was and this wasn’t the first uncontrolled manifestation she had seen in her daughter. But she didn’t think that this tiny five year old could tear out the floor beneath all of their feet.

At least, when Rey was lifted into the air, that ridiculous force freeze gave away. Finally, she could move around. Yet it was too late. Everything and everybody was floating. Even the bathtub was in the air. She had to stop Beru before she lost more control.

Kylo had been looking at Beru with a rarely seen tenderness that shocked Rey - it was obvious that they knew each other, but how? Yet now as he was being lifted into the air with all of the other objects, his look transformed into something between awe and panic.

Tears started running down Beru’s cheeks and everything in the air started to shake. Rey tried to float to her and was about to say something to calm her down, but Beru started to scream and that scream was vibrating through the force like nothing Rey had ever felt before. All of the stained-glass windows exploded and the glass shards floated around them.

It was Bail who managed to reach his sister first. Beru looked up at him through red eyes and started to mumble as more tears were falling down her face.

“I am so sorry, it’s all my fault”. Rey’s heart broke for her little girl. How could any of this be her fault? It wasn’t her fault that she was born to two of the last force users, who couldn’t figure out this whole galactic war thing.

Bail was holding Beru’s hand and Rey felt that he was using the force to calm her. “Don’t worry, sis - it doesn’t matter, whatever happened, we can figure it out.” Beru smiled at him and that’s when everything and everybody dropped to the floor.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Rey was running through the forest towards their shuttle. Her lungs were burning and she was having a hard time catching her breath. Beru was clinging to her back and Bail was running next to her. The jungle of Galucia was inhabitable for a reason - it was very difficult to navigate. But Rey had been on this planet for years and knew where she was running. She could already see the shuttle and was thankful that they had packaged everything for their trip - all of the food, water and force artifacts were securely stored away and they had enough fuel to jump to the other end of the galaxy.

When Beru had dropped them unceremoniously to the floor, Kylo had hit his head. Rey couldn't resist checking that he was all right. She had wasted valuable minutes placing some towels under his head. She even tucked some stray strands of hair behind his ears. She would rather not dwell on why she had done that.

But that moment of tenderness would turn out to be her second mistake of the night.

Beru had wanted to stay, but Rey tried to explain to her as calmly as possible, that her father wasn’t ready for them now. Beru didn’t reply but let herself be led away. Obviously, Beru had known that Kylo was coming for them and hadn’t told them - but that was a discussion to be held when they were safe in space.

They reached their ship- a small T-6 shuttle that Rey had fixed up herself (and armed with a significant number of additional weapons of course) - in no time and Rey threw herself into the pilot seat. The children sat behind her and fastened their seat belts. Rey was pushing every button as fast as she could. “Bail, I might need you to man the weapons, just in case”. No reply. “Hey, Bail - did you hear me?” Still no reply.

Rey turned around only to stare directly at Kylo.

The children were both in deep Force sleep. Rey wanted to lunge forward, but was frozen again.

“Leaving already ?” Kylo sat down into the co-pilot seat and started the ship up. He turned Rey frozen in her seat around so she could face the window. She couldn’t help but notice that he left both hands on her knees for a moment longer than necessary.

The ship quickly ascended and Kylo skillfully avoided all of the meteoroids surrounding the planet. Once he had entered a destination into the autopilot he turned around to her. He then slowly leaned back in the seat and stared at her intently.

After what felt like eternity he started talking. “We obviously have a lot to discuss. I have a million questions. But I guess I need to ask the one that is bothering me the most first. Why did you do it, Rey? How could you abandon me? And then hide my children from me?” After he ran his hand through his hair, he let out a breath he must have been holding.

Rey had seen him vulnerable many times before when they talked for hours during the night through their force bond. How long had that been ago? Nine or ten years? How much easier life used to be - they had fought a war against each other during the day then shared their loneliness with each other during the night. But in this moment she saw all of the pain that she had caused him and it was more than she had expected.

“First of all, would you mind unfreezing me, so I can answer your questions?” She sent him her thoughts over the bond. “Oh of course, I am sorry.” Kylo unfroze her right away and was that a smile she saw? Wait, did he apologize and smile? Who was this new Kylo? Maybe they had finally broken him with all of the brainwashing? 

She looked at him more closely. He actually looked better than ever. There were some grey streaks in his hair, but they only added to his allure. His face was more relaxed and rested. And this new power signature of his was exploding around him.

Rey rubbed her face and her neck. There was really no easy way to do this right? She was captured in a small ship with him, she and her children at his mercy and he wanted to talk about everything that has happened? All her right and wrong choices? So be it. Let’s do it. Quick and blunt. “I didn’t hide because of you. I hid because of Snoke. I wasn’t sure you could protect us from him. I will admit that a small part of me feared that his influence over you was so great that he could make you hurt us. I couldn’t let him hurt our children - especially not through you, their father.”

Kylo was still staring at her. The smile had disappeared and instead his face was stone cold. Was he even breathing? It was so hard to tell with all the armour he was wearing. Minutes passed and he was still not saying anything. Suddenly Rey felt that he was brushing against her mind. Was he trying to check if she was telling the truth? That infuriated Rey.

“Look, me running away was not abandoning you or us. I ran away and protected what was most important - the children. Don’t you understand that I had to protect them at any cost? Can you now please stop staring at me and say something.” Kylo still didn’t move, but suddenly Rey saw the ship they were approaching - it was the Supremacy.

Rey’s heartbeat was quickening as panic set in. Was he really going to bring their children to Snoke?!

“Ben, I beg you, please don’t bring our children to Snoke. You know what he will do to them. He will turn them into his tools. He will destroy them!” She was getting desperate now fighting against the tears that were streaming down her cheeks. “Please, please - I beg you, I will do anything, but please don’t give them to Snoke. He will destroy all good in them and make them into monsters!”

There was a heavy silence and Kylo finally looked away from her. “Monsters like me?”

She hadn’t meant that. But suddenly she couldn’t think of any words to say. Because wasn’t this the truth? No matter what she was trying to deny to herself what she felt for him, he would always be a monster who had killed his own father. She couldn’t change him. She couldn’t redeem him. There was a second, where she saw the hurt in his eyes, the despair begging her to contradict him.

But the next moment it was gone and he said with a cold voice, “Don’t worry, Snoke is dead.”

He let that sink in and then added, “And so is the Resistance.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! This is my first fanfic ever written (SO EXCITED) *smile*
> 
> Thank you AlexFlex for beta-ing. English is not my first language, so I sincerely appreciate the help.


	2. Chapter 2

They remained silent while Kylo navigated the ship into the landing dock of the Supremacy.

Snoke was dead. That was good, right. But how? Who was the Supreme Leader? Wasn’t Kylo free now? Those should probably be the questions she concentrated on.

Why was he bringing them back to the Supremacy, then? Whose fleet did the Supremacy belong to?

Rewind a second. She was actually concentrating on the wrong part. What did he mean by “And so is the Resistance?” Were they all dead? Finn? Poe? Did he kill them all? Could he have killed his mother, too?

She couldn’t control her emotions anymore. She knew that some of her fear and despair were trickling through the bond no matter how hard she tried to hold them back.

Kylo looked over and seeing her tears reached out with his hand. Yet he seemed to think better of it and pulled it right back. Maybe better, she wasn’t sure if she wanted to be touched right now.

“We are here,” he announced as they landed. Then he walked out of the ship and the children (blissfully still sleeping) floated behind him. Rey followed them slowly.

She was instantly hit with the cold and fake smelling air that was so common on ships. But she didn't stop herself from grinding her teeth, but she refused to shiver. It made her long for the lush jungles of Galucia and the fresh air there.

As Rey was walking through the cold hangar, a realization hit her. All of the Stromtroopers had no helmets on. They were running around in various formations all without helmets.

However, what shocked her even more was that she didn’t see just human men and women as she had the first time on this ship. Or really in any interaction with the First Order.

There were Salustans talking to each other and a Radian next to some TIE fighters. There was a Lasat loudly arguing with a Mon Calamari about a hyperdrive flaw in their ship. She could see a female Chiss handing over a datapad to a seemingly upset Togruta with the words, “I told you so.” There was a whole group of green and blue Twi’leks walking with a human and a Zabrak towards them.Then there were species she had never seen before. Some were insect-like and at least a foot taller than her. Others had big heads and were communicating with a glowing finger. Even the Stormtroopers were not all human. Rey definitely saw some Togruta and Twi’leks and even some more Zabraks. Whoever wasn't wearing the storm trooper armour was wearing a uniform with a logo Rey had never seen before. It looked like the First Order emblem, but there were lines crossing through each corner, making a big star out of it.

She was most entranced by a tall being covered fully in a blue veil. It seemed as if she was hovering above the floor. Through the veil she saw an octopus-like head with incredibly long tentacles. The being was followed by an entourage all in black and using a sibilent language. When she was passing by Rey she suddenly looked up and Rey saw blue eyes staring directly at her. She quickly turned her gaze and followed Kylo. He walked so fast as if he was trying to win a walking marathon and Rey had a very hard time keeping up. Nobody seemed disturbed though by the man in black stomping to the elevator, followed by two floating children and a very stressed scavenger with a light staff.

When they finally reached the elevator, Kylo slowly levitated Beru into Rey’s arms and Beil into his own. They stepped into the elevator and sped up towards the higher floors. The silence was heavy, but they nevertheless didn’t say anything. Rey could feel his eyes on her. She was holding on to Beru and with determination looking at the elevator door.

The elevator stopped and Kylo led the way towards a room Rey was familiar with. She had been to his bedroom once before - emphasis on the “once” . Five years ago to be exact. It didn’t end well. It ended with her running away. Well and in her being pregnant again.

Her cheeks must have reddened but thankfully Kylo didn’t seem to notice as he was laying Bail on the bed. Rey cautiously laid Beru next to Bail and could only gawk at Kylo as he covered both children with a sheet. It always shocked her how a man so capable of violence, was also able to showcase so much kindness.

Kylo stood up abruptly and walked to the door next to the bed. While he was walking he said “Come with me, we need to talk.” Rey didn’t enjoy being ordered around, but she had to admit that she was not in a position to talk back (just yet).

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

She followed slowly to the adjacent room. Kylo was standing by the window with his hands behind his back and seemingly was caught up in his own thoughts. The light of the stars was illuminating his face. He really hadn’t changed much she thought. But … there was something in his eyes. An agony. Was it the same pain she was carrying with her?

Quickly she shook her head and pulled her gaze away from him. Instead, she used that moment to analyze her surroundings. They were in a huge conference room with ten chairs and a big wooden table.

The wall to floor window gave the most breathtaking view of the galaxy. Rey kept on forgetting how beautiful the galaxy really was. It was so easy to get caught up in all the details and drama of life, to forget how magnificent the universe could be.

As easy it was to get lost in that view, she had to think about a potential escape route. What was Kylo’s plan here? Did he want the children? A Sith always needed an apprentice, right? Her grip on her laser staff hardened. Maybe Snoke was dead, but that didn’t mean his influence over Kylo was as well.

After having checked all the doors in the room (there were only two - one from where they had come and another on the other side) she turned back to Kylo. “What do you want?” she tried to sound as confident as possible even though she was scared of his new power. Whatever, she beat him once when she hadn’t trained yet before. She could do it again, right?

“I told you, I want to talk.” Kylo still wouldn’t look at her. He was just looking out of that window.

“I am talking. I asked you a question. Do you want the children? Are you going to take them away from me?” Something in Rey broke. She wasn’t sure if it was the stress of everything or seeing Kylo again. Or maybe it was the fear of losing her children. She positioned herself in front of the door leading back to the children and powered up her double-bladed laser staff.

That caught Kylo’s attention and he turned around. The yellow of her laser staff cast a shadow over his face. He raised an eyebrow. “Hm, that’s not very Jedi of you.”

“True - you see, I have never been a Jedi. Now answer my question.” She was losing her patience so quickly. So she stormed at Kylo and started swinging her laser staff at him from every angle. Kylo instantly ignited his crossguard lightsaber. She struck him diagonally and upwards. With a twist she tried to stab him, yet he deflected every hit with ease. She didn’t have to parry, because he remained in a defensive position.

A smile was playing around his lips. “Well, I didn’t expect that, but I think I might enjoy it.”

“I am not going to let you take them and train them as Sith!” Rey was yelling now. She pushed Kylo against the table with the force. She was about to get a hit in, but he moved away and she only got the table. That didn’t deter her and she pulled the laser staff through the furniture until she got it back out.

Hastily she turned around getting ready for a cross strike. But Kylo was faster and force pushed her away. She was flying above the table and had to use her laser staff to burn into the furniture to slow her fall. She landed with both feet on the table and looked around to see where Kylo was standing.

He was looming by a wall on the other side of the table now. “How can you be so short-sighted Rey?’ Kylo looked up into her eyes. “As much as I am enjoying this, can we please talk first?”

“NO! You told me you killed the whole Resistance! I am taking the children and we are leaving!” Rey jumped from the table and aimed her light staff at him. They started circling each other before Rey dove right back at him.

Their weapons crashed and the floor shook beneath their feet. Rey was feeling a small wave of relief as she was managing to corner him against the wall. Their beams locked and sparks were flying. Kylo’s back was now against the wall and there were only the laser sabers between them. Rey felt the heat so close to her face, but she kept on pushing. One of her blades was so close to Kylo’s chest now, but he was holding his lightsaber firmly between her lightstaff and his body.

He leaned forward ignoring the heat from the blade. She could see that some of his hair was burning, but he didn’t seem to care. They were both breathing heavy. His face was now in front of hers and he slowly touched his forehead against hers. She should have moved away. She should have head-butted him. Maybe she should have killed him right here and there.

Instead she let out a breath of relief and let her forehead sink against his. How many times had she imagined his touch in the last years? They both closed their eyes and enjoyed the moment for a second. This was better, because it stopped her from staring at his lips. His lips that were so close. If she leaned in a little bit, she could kiss him. Just a little bit.

“I want you, Rey. This isn’t about the children or anybody else - it’s about you. I wasn’t even aware that I had a son until two hours ago. I have been looking through the whole galaxy to find YOU. I always only wanted you, Rey.”

And with that he force-pushed her away from himself. Rey hadn’t expected it and braced to hit the wall or the table. But Kylo froze her mid-air and slowly lowered her to the floor. He turned off his lightsaber.

Rey wouldn’t have any of it. So she lifted her hand ready for another force push. But he was already standing with his own hand pointed to her. Their force waves met and for one moment Rey thought she actually might have a chance. It was a telekinetic clash of power as both were pushing with outstretched hands. Rey could have sworn that she saw force lightning pass between them, but as to who had generated it she could not guess.

Slowly nevertheless, Kylo’s superior power was manifesting itself. The force wave was pushing closer and closer to her. She had to think on her feet, and fast. So she stopped her force push and instantly jumped with the light staff forward - hoping that the sudden absence of resistance would make Kylo stumble forward.

Again, she had hoped wrong. Kylo didn’t even waver. He froze her mid-flight and force pushed her against the window. Her face was pressed against the glass and she felt Kylo approach closer. She heard his armor shields rustle against each other as he bent down. His face was right by her ear now. She felt the heat radiating from his body as he was hovering over her. As he leaned even closer, some of his hair tickled her on her neck.

“I missed you.” Whispering he moved her hair away from her neck. Then he kissed her neck ever so gently and she could swear that her heart stopped beating. There was so much unsaid craving in that kiss. He lifted his head and said, “You have no idea what seeing you again is doing to me.”

Rather than get lost in this moment (and how much Rey really ached for any intimate moment with him), Rey pressed her feet with all the power she could master against the window. Kylo landed on his back on the floor and Rey flipping mid-air landed on him. She was holding him down between her legs and immediately re-ignited her staff. Holding the laser beam to his throat she all but whispered. “Did you kill Leia?! Please, ... please tell me now.” There was a silent unsaid plea in her question. She was begging him to deny that his heart was corrupted beyond redemption.

Kylo slowly dropped his lightsaber to the floor. He took both hands and put them on her hips.

“No, Rey. I didn’t kill my mother. And I swear I won’t let any harm come to you or our children. I would never dream of separating them from you. You know that I basically grew up without my mother. I would never wish that on anybody and especially not on force sensitive children. They shouldn’t have to deal with their powers alone. I seriously just want to talk to you.”

Rey didn’t really believe him that it was just talking he wanted to do as his fingers dug deeper into her hips. She had an inkling that he could kick her off any moment and was letting her sit on him on purpose. His index fingers were now rubbing gentle circles on her hips inching a little bit closer to her bottom. She tried her hardest not to be aware of where exactly she was sitting on him. She needed to say something fast and distract them from this irresistible attraction. 

“Okay - we can talk. But then I decide if we stay or if we leave.” Rey was not going to make this easy. With that she turned off her laser staff and pushed herself off him to collapse against the wall. His fingers tried to hold her back, but let her go feeling her determination. 

She looked at the table which was basically cut into pieces. She hadn’t realized how much damage she had caused. “Um, sorry about the table.”

Kylo waved his hand. “Don’t worry about it - they have a special Kylo anger management budget for all the damage I used to do with my tantrums. I think we haven’t used it in like 3 years, but Hux refuses to re-allocate it. Anyway, there should be enough to cover that damage.”

“... Um … sure … okay … you were saying; you want to talk? How do you want to do this? So much has happened. We will be here all night, ” Rey huffed.

“Well, we can do a memory exchange.” Kylo proposed. He was now sitting on the floor in a mediation pose right in front of her.

“I don’t really know how to do that.” Rey had read about it, but not tried it. Bail had been her only training partner and she definitely did not want to share her memories with him.

“It’s pretty easy. Remember when I was interrogating you? We basically connected then as well. It will be even easier now with the bond as strong as it is between us and it being … voluntary” Kylo gave her an innocent smile.

“Alright. And the children are safe in the other room?” Rey was still wary.

“Yes - I swear. Believe it or not, I care too. Now ... let me start.” Kylo crossed his legs and straightened his back.

“You need to relax. Start to meditate. I will connect to your mind and you need to let me in, so that it doesn’t hurt. Then I will start sending you my memories. Let our bond do most of the work”.

Rey took one more look at him and then closed her eyes.

She felt him coming closer to her. He was sitting right in front of her now and their knees were touching. She started concentrating on her meditation as she suddenly felt him grab both her hands. He must have taken his gloves off, because she felt his skin as his fingers intertwined with hers. But she didn’t have any time to say anything, because she was pulled into utter darkness.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

At first she was drifting. The darkness calmed her. She felt the force around her in everything - it was cold and hot at the same time flowing through every fiber of her being. The Jedi text had described the force as the balance that was binding the universe together - like a bridge between life and death and peace and violence. But to Rey it always felt more like an ever changing river. You never knew where it would pull you or where the hidden currents were.

All of a sudden she felt a pull of her hand. She looked down to see who was pulling her, but instead landed hard on the floor of … Kylo’s bedroom.

Confused she looked around … did they move rooms by accident? She thought he was going to show her a memory. That’s when she saw Kylo sitting on the edge of the bed. He only had his pants on. Rey had forgotten (or tried to forget) how unbelievably beautiful he was. The scars adorning his muscles only added to the effect as he looked strong and dangerous.

He was trailing his fingers through something in the bed. Rey walked a little bit closer only to see herself - lying naked in his bed and sleeping - as Kylo was trailing his fingers from her neck over her spine. He was watching her closely as if she was something precious. Then he leaned down and started to kiss his way from her neck down her spine. 

Well - she remembered this herself, thank you very much. This was five years ago. She had ambitiously borrowed (a little bit stolen) a ship from the resistance and flown directly to the Supremacy. The plan was to get Kylo to leave with her. Naturally, nothing worked according to plan. Exhibit A - the moment they saw each other they ended in his bedroom.

The comm link started beeping. Kylo quickly put on a shirt and rushed with the comm link in hand to the other room.

Rey followed him and saw Snoke’s face appear over the comm link. “Where is she?” He asked immediately.

“She is with me - I am … I am interrogating her,” Kylo murmured.

“Sure you are. Bring her to me immediately,” Snoke said.

“Yes, master,” Kylo replied as Snoke's face disappeared.

He huffed and rubbed both his hands through his hair. Rey could hear Kylo’s thoughts in this memory and fascinated, she inched closer. He knew he would never bring Rey to Snoke, but how could they escape? They probably couldn’t use her ship. Maybe one of the escape pods? Should he tell Hux or use every second they had and run?

He was deep in thought when he heard rustling from the door. Rey flipped around and saw herself - fully dressed - standing in the door and having heard everything. “You, traitor,” she spit out, “You would bring me to him! Right after you slept with me?”

“No, Rey - wait, I …” Kylo was trying to stand up, but Rey force pushed him to the other end of the room. He slammed against the wall.

“I trusted you! I came here for you. I thought there was hope. I was going to tell you … “ Rey froze mid sentence. “Nevermind - Stupid me.” With that she used the force to close the door. Kylo ran to the door as fast as he could, but when he opened it - his bedroom was empty. He put the rest of his clothes on and ran out of the room.

“She has escaped - make sure her ship does not leave the platform!” Kylo screamed into the comm link. He couldn’t lose her again. As he arrived on the platform five stormtroopers tumbled into him. But he couldn't be bothered. Maybe there was still a chance? Once he got her maybe he could abduct her in a ship and escape this way? How else could he make her see that he wanted to leave with her. Let's hope that they could avoid a full showdown with the stormtroopers.

His heart made a leap of happiness when he saw that her ship was still there. They ran to her corvette and surrounded it. “Rey, come out now!” Kylo screamed. Nothing happened. The ramp was still lowered so Kylo walked cautiously into the ship. A quick sweep turned out empty. She wasn’t here. Was she hiding somewhere in the hangar?

He was in the cockpit of that kriffin' resistance corvette when he saw his own TIE fighter fly away.

Smart girl. So much smarter than he was.

He listened to the chaos on the comm link.

“Who permitted this unscheduled take off?”

“Well - it’s Kylo Ren’s TIE fighter - you know he always leaves without permission.”

“Bantha Fooder! Kylo Ren is here with us, you kriffin’ bucketheads.”

“Sithspit! Stop that TIE fighter NOW.”

But it was all too late. Rey was gone. 

With a scream, Kylo destroyed the cockpit of the corvette. She had abandoned him. He was trying to open up the force bond to no avail. All that talk of her believing in him and yet when the test came, she automatically assumed that he would deliver her to Snoke instead of rescuing her.

When he was satisfied with the damage done, he left the stormtroopers without a word and took the elevator up to Snoke.

He didn’t even manage to get inside the door to the throne room, when the force lightning hit him.

“You fool, how could you have been so blind with this girl? She is using you - like your parents and your uncle. Let’s hope this will be a lesson from which you will finally learn.” Snoke was giggling under his breath, while Kylo was still lying on the floor.

As the force lightning continued, Kylo kept on trying to connect with Rey over the bond. While he only got silence, he kept on sending the same message into the void.

“Rey - I chose you!” But there was no response. All he could hear was Snoke’s laughter.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Everything went dark again and Rey was left drifting alone with a hollow feeling in her stomach.

She had been so quick to come to the conclusion that Kylo had chosen the dark side over her, hadn’t she? She had not spared him a moment to contradict her. Guilt was eating her up. She had hated him during those years since. Hated him for choosing Snoke over her. For choosing the First Order over her. And it had been her mistake all along? 

But she tried to shove it away. The mistake was made - she couldn’t undo the last five years. And it’s not like he hadn’t given her enough reason to doubt him. He had undoubtedly killed his father. How was she supposed to have known that he wouldn’t have turned against her? Weren’t those excuses though with which she was trying to rationalize her misjudgment.

Still she had to fight back utter anguish thinking of Kylo lying on the floor surrounded by the force lightning and calling for her. And she in her stubbornness had refused to open the bond.

She whispered a silent “sorry” into the darkness not sure if he could even hear her.

There was a pull on her shoulder this time. When she turned around she was in a training room. Black walls were adorned with dark weapons of every kind. In the middle was an illuminated ring. She could make out several figures fighting with each other.

Kylo was training with his fellow knights. Note that this training was not for the faint of heart. There was blood everywhere. The red was a harsh contrast to the black walls and white floor. All of the knights had their masks on, but some had their arms and chests bare. Each bleeding cut was visible and showed where they had failed to protect themselves in time.

Rey saw Kylo in all his majesty towering over them. His chest was covered in more bruises than all the others, but that didn’t deter him - he was hovering with an axe over another knight who was clutching his vibrocleaver.

“Yield!" Kylo demanded and the knight dropped his weapon. He stood up and they shook hands. “Good fight as always, Master Ren.” The knight muttered under his breath. Rey could see that he was trying not to clutch his arm that was adorned with a vast cut.

However, Kylo wasn’t listening to him anymore. He was looking to the left of him and Rey swore that she heard him whisper her name. Out of the blue he looked up and said “Everybody get out now!”

The knights exchanged glances, but left the room without comment and in haste. The moment they were gone Kylo locked the doors with the force. He then kneeled down and cradled something in his arms. At first it was just air and Rey was confused as to what was happening. But then a highly pregnant Rey appeared in his arms.

Rey stopped breathing - she knew what this was. It was nine months later. This was ... Beru’s birth! Rey watched herself as she was lying in Kylo’s arms and … dying. Covered in blood from the waist down and bleeding out, her skin was whiter than the floor.

“Rey, no, no - Rey stay with me.” Kylo was holding her in his lap and cradling her face.

The dying Rey realized that he was there and looked up. She smiled and lifted her hand to touch his face leaving a bloody mark on his cheek. “I was hoping I could see you one more time. I needed to tell you, before it’s too late. I didn’t tell you before.”

“No Rey, don’t speak like that. Tell me what happened. I can help you.”

He had always thought that he would yell at her if he saw her ever again. He would yell at her until his voice gave out and she would have understood the pain that she had caused. Maybe he would have fought her. But instead he was grasped by an unbearable fear of losing her.

“Kylo or Ben, ahhh whatever … “ she was having a hard time speaking now. There was blood on her lips and she was choking on it. It was obvious that she wasn't getting enough air. 

She took a struggling breath and almost spit it out. “I have loved none but you.”

And with those words, her hand dropped as the last energy that she had used for those words left her. Her eyes rolled back and her whole body went limp as death overtook her.

“NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Rey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Kylo released a scream like Rey had never heard before. It was a mix of utter despair and sorrow. And it was endless. He kept on screaming and Rey had to hold her ears.

He was holding her with his whole body as if his embrace could bring her back and screaming and screaming at the whole galaxy. For how could it take away what he didn’t even manage to have.

But it was the silence that followed that was even more deafening.

Rey was fighting back tears. Deep down she knew that since she was standing here, she hadn’t died that day. But to see somebody hold a person they cared about dead in their arms was life shattering. That scream still echoed in her ears and she didn’t think it would ever leave her.

Suddenly he looked up and started to slowly pull strands of her hair away from her face. “I am sorry; you ... you deserve peace - but I can’t let you go,” Kylo said and with that he placed one of his enormous hands on her chest.

The dead Rey's chest began to glow in a beige light and Rey could see the life force flow from him into her. The glow stopped as suddenly as it had appeared. Kylo was waiting patiently. He was rocking her body back and forth.

But nothing happened.

Now he was trying to place his hand on her head and give her more life force.

Abruptly, the Rey in Kylo’s arms opened up her eyes. She took a deep breath as if it was her first and looked up into his eyes. She managed to say “Ben” and then the force bond ended and Kylo was left alone in the dark training room.

He was still kneeling and holding air with his bloody hands. The bloody stain on his face was a lonely dried up reminder of what had transpired. He didn’t dare to move.

Just in that moment the door opened. Light was shining in and Rey could only see a shadow standing in the door. “Snoke wants to see you” Hux gritted through his teeth. “Why he is sending me to tell you, I have no idea. I am not your personal assistant.” With that he turned around on his heel and stomped away.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The memory swirled around again and fast forwarded. Rey dropped on the floor of an enormous red room. The floor had a mirror reflection and all the walls were painted red. A colossal throne in the middle of the room managed to still emanate cold even though it was surrounded by such a powerful color as red. There were red guards to each side of the throne and on it sat a creature so deformed Rey’s breath hitched. His eyes were cruel and what remained of his mouth was curled into a malicious smile. To make the whole scene even more grotesque, he was dressed in golden silk playing with a black diamond ring.

“Stand up and look me in the eye!” Snoke’s voice was harsher than normal. Kylo knew it normally meant he would torture him. But he didn’t care. Rey was alive. 

He hadn’t realized what she meant to him until that moment when she was lying dead in his arms. It had felt as every excuse for his existence - any purpose he possibly could have had to keep on being - had been torn away from him. He still could hear her voice - the weakest whisper really - admitting that she loved him. He thought that her voice could carry him through any torture that Snoke had in mind for him.

“I know what you did. I felt it in the force - you rescued that scavenger’s life.” Snoke was looking at Kylo intently. Was he expecting him to lie?

“Yes, I did,” Kylo replied. Suddenly he no longer cared what Snoke thought of him. He wanted this to be over, so he could go and look for her. She was definitely still hurt. She needed him. SHE needed HIM.

“You fool! Don’t you realize that it was your child she gave birth to. And I am sure you felt the awakening in the force! This child was just born and it already is strong with the force!” Snoke was yelling. He normally didn’t lose his composure so quickly.

But Kylo only really heard one part of what had been said - it was his child! He had been so worried about Rey, he hadn’t even thought about that. There were feelings in his chest he had never dared to hope to experience - a mix of joy and pride that warmed him. A warmth that had been withheld from him his whole life. A promise of something more. A promise of a family.

In this horrible room covered in red, which was inhumanly freezing, faced with that beast which had tormented him for so long with a lie assuring him promises power and belonging - he finally felt like he knew what he had to do. Snoke was going on not realizing that his apprentice was changing right before his eyes.

“This girl - she is a weakness of yours. You need to go and kill her while she is still weak. Then bring the child here. We will ensure that it is brought up in the dark side like _you_ should have been from birth. Maybe then you wouldn’t have been as weak as you … “

But Snoke never finished the sentence he wanted to say. Kylo was standing right in front of him with his lightsaber deep down buried in his chest. Black blood was spilling all over the floor. Snoke tried to grab the lightsaber, but Kylo with two smooth moves cut his torso in half.

In the first moment Kylo only felt his own breath in his lungs as watched the pieces that once used to be Snoke fall to the ground.

But then he felt something more. The most peculiar thing happened as Kylo stood over the dead heap that had been his master and manipulator. He felt an incredible amount of power flow back into him. It was as if a piece that had been missing for eternity was finally back where it belonged. He felt so strong and powerful. The force flew through his muscles into his fingers while he was clenching his hands.

The power that had scared him and his family when he was a mere teenager was now back in his veins. But it didn’t scare him now. It felt right.

Had Snoke been holding back his power all these years while promising him his grandfather’s potential?

Everything had happened so fast that the red guards didn’t even realize that Snoke was already dead. They turned their weapons on Kylo, but he just flexed his fist. All eight sentinels were lifted into the air and force choked simultaneously.

As their cold bodies hit the ground, the door to the throne room was smashed open. Kylo turned away from Snoke’s dead body and saw all six knights of Ren stand in the entrance.

“We felt the awakening and the death. What has transpired?” asked Ap'lek while he nonchalantly pulled out his enormous Mandalorian executioner’s ax.

“I killed Snoke.” Kylo replied.

His lightsaber was still ignited and Kylo only now realized how calm the blade was - it no longer looked like it would explode any moment. Was it more powerful now? It definitely felt that way.

The Knights must have been thinking the same as all of them pulled out their weapons.

There was a moment of silence as each party waited for the other to make a move.

Vicrul put his weapon - a phrik scythe - down and stepped up. “I, Vicrul Ren, challenge you, Kylo Ren. Fight or die. Or both if you prefer.”

Kylo looked at him and with a nod positioned himself into the first form of Atari. Vicrul smiled for a moment - they had studied together at the academy and he knew that Kylo barely used any of the forms in fighting anymore. It was more a reflex from when they trained together. With a delighted yell he threw himself at Kylo.

Both were moving so fast, it was hard to follow them. Years of training and fighting together used to make them equal opponents. But Kylo’s new power was exploding all around him. From time to time the other knights could see the scythe clashing with the lightsaber. Yet it wasn’t long before Vicrul was kneeling on the floor and Kylo held his lightsaber by his throat.

“As always, I will follow you, Master … well, Emperor now?” Vicrul said with a smile.

Kylo didn’t have time to acknowledge him or turn around to the other knights, since Kuruk and Cardo attacked him right away. He impaled Kuruk immediately. But when he turned to Cardo, he only found a dead body with Ap’lek’s ex in his back.

Trudgen, Ushar and Ap’lek fell to their knees next to Vicrul. “We pledge our allegiance to you, Emperor,” Ushar said. Kylo knew he could trust Ap’lek and Vicrul. He wasn’t sure about Ushar though.

“Get up, we need to clean this ship of Snoke followers.” Kylo didn’t want to lose any time. He had to find her.

“Hux might be a problem, should we kill him?” Trudgen asked with a big smile.

“No, leave him to me. Find all Generals and bring them to me. We need to be faster than the news of Snoke’s demise.” With that they all left the throne room.

Right at the door Kylo stopped as if to turn around once more and glance back at Snoke’s dead corpse. Instead he gripped his light saber tightly and kept on walking forward.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Rey was suddenly back in the conference room next to the broken table. Those memories had been so intense, she felt drained and exhausted. It was Kylo’s scream that kept still ringing in her ears.

Kylo was sitting on the floor in front of her. He had let go of her hands and was looking down at the floor.

“You know, when I arrived at the Supremacy - I wanted you to leave with me and then I was planning on telling you about Bail.” Rey whispered.

“You left me behind, Rey. You didn’t even give me a chance - I chose you, I would have always chosen you. But you expected me to choose the dark side.”

“I … I am sorry. I freaked out that you were going to bring me to Snoke and he would see Bail in my head.”

“You abandoned me. You gave up on me like everybody else. Like my parents. Like Luke.”

“This is Snoke talking now and you know it,” Rey hissed.

Kylo stared at her in shock. They had never talked about Snoke. She wasn’t sure if he had ever talked with anybody about the emotional and physical abuse he had to endure from that creature.

There was anger in his force signature now bouncing around with something else. She couldn’t put her finger on it. It was amazing how connected she was with him now that the bond was open. Yet he seemed even more unreachable. Like they were in different galaxies.

“You killed him because of me?” She asked quietly.

“Why are you surprised? I would kill anybody for you.” Kylo declared without hesitation. How easily he was talking about death, Rey thought to herself.

“I … I thought you did it to become Emperor.” Rey admitted.

“I never wanted to be the Emperor. I still don’t want to run the galaxy - Now I feel like it’s my duty to fix it. I want to fix what was broken because of my passiveness or following Snoke’s commands. Honestly, I want to undo not only what Snoke did, but what Palpatine did as well. I want to fix what no empire or republic could fix before. But most of all I want to fix the evil that I have done.”

Kylo took a deep breath. Rey wanted to say something, but he interrupted her.

“I know I can’t redeem myself, so I won’t even try. But I can make it better for millions.”

“I don’t think you are evil.” Rey said precipitously. She realized how stupid she must have sounded in the context of it all.

“So am I a monster, who isn’t evil? Rey, I sorted through pretty much every person in the First Order. I went through their mind and if I saw that they believed in Snoke, that they wanted to kill, that they were evil in any way - I killed them. I executed them all and played judge over their lives myself. I don’t even know how many lives I ended or destroyed under the Snoke’s orders. And even though I was against Starkiller, I let it destroy Hosnian Prime and the other planets. And then … then I was able to stab my own father …” At that he broke off. “There is no redemption for me. But I can try to undo the evil that has been done.”

“The Resistance would have killed the First Order in an instant - without checking who was pro Snoke and who wasn’t.” Rey interjected. Why she was trying to make him feel better she didn’t even know. But for some reason, she didn’t want him to believe that he was the monster she inadvertently called him.

Kylo was silent. He was looking out of the window again and it seemed that there was nothing else to say. It seemed as if she was losing him. 

“My turn now” Rey said with determination and grabbed both his hands even harder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt like on some level Kylo’s relationship with Snoke was a little bit like Jean with Xavier in X-Men. I always felt that it was Professor X's biggest mistake to lock away Jean's power in her mind. 
> 
> Btw, small E.T. and Fifth Element cameos.
> 
> Again thank you AlexFlex for beta-ing!


	3. Chapter 3

The darkness consumed Rey again, but this time she didn’t concentrate on the force. Instead she concentrated on the bond with Kylo. Slowly - like looking into the darkest room for a flashlight you knew was there - she started to search for him. It wasn’t easy, it felt as if she was swimming underwater and not seeing the surface. But somehow she knew that he was there.

She got a glimpse of a small light not far from her. It was white inside with red turbulent flames around it. It was him. It had to be him.

Carefully she approached the light and touched it with her finger. It seemed to hum and Rey felt happiness flow through her. She felt whole and warm as if her soul was no longer alone, but part of another. The more their minds merged, the more she felt his emotions. It was so much stronger than the echoes of his feelings she normally felt through the bond. It was becoming harder to tell where he ended and she began.

All at once she was hit with longing and desire that made her legs weaken. It was a delicious tension inside her threatening to explode at any moment. As the heat was slowly engulfing her beautiful torture tormented her with promises of passion and dark deeds.

Yet she stalled. No, she would not indulge in her weakness. She didn’t know this man. She thought she did, but the truth was that she couldn't trust him. There were still questions unanswered. This was a memory exchange and not a sexual tag game. She tried to concentrate as hard as she could on the first memory she wanted to show him and ignore the eager craving that was building between her legs.

As before, she dropped with a sudden thud unceremoniously on a hard metal floor. Looking up she saw a familiar painting of a blue planet staring at her. The most beautiful whirls of blues and greens were juxtaposed against the black galaxy. Rey had once found a ring during her scavenger days. It had been silver with a beautiful blue stone in it. One of the other scavengers told Rey that it was a Sapphire and if you held it against the sun, you could see every shade of blue possible. Since she couldn’t get any portions for it, she had just put it in her pocket. Unfortunately, when she got home, she couldn’t find it anywhere. The other scavenger might had stolen it. Anyway, this painting always reminded Rey of that stone and of all those shades of blue she saw in it. It was depicting Alderaan in all of its glory. Leia had always told her that it could not do the planet justice. But for Rey, it was nevertheless one of the most beautiful paintings she had ever seen.

So Rey was in Leia’s quarters. She stood up and while still re-adjusting her tunic she looked around. Not far away a small desk was covered in maps and a lonely cup of kaf that seemed to be several days old stood on the edge. There was a small empty blue vase with the Naboo royal emblem standing on a chest by the bed. That bed as always was untouched with its thick blue blankets meticulously organized in a corner. Rey knew that under her pillow Leia was hiding a photo of her with Luke and Han as well as a photo of a teenage Ben. Those were the last memories of her family.

And right there in front of her was Leia sitting on a chair. She was dressed in a navy overall with a fur vest. That’s right, they were on one of their old Resistance bases on Kijmi. Rey had hated that cold and grey planet. There was nothing there but snow and rock and you could never see nor feel the sun as it was hidden permanently behind grey clouds. It was an anarchist planet, used by many spice trafficking gangs as their headquarters. The First Order never guessed that the Resistance was hiding there, but it was almost not worth it.

Leia wasn’t alone. In front of her on the floor was a ten years younger Rey. That Rey had her head in Leia's lap and was crying endless tears.

The present Rey looked around for Kylo. Was he seeing her memory? A little white and red light was floating to the right of her. The little red flames were currently surrounding the light like slow waves. Yes, he was here.

Leia was saying something and Rey walked up closer to hear it.

“Rey, whatever it is - I am here for you. We will get through this. You don’t need to tell me. But know that I will help you. You are NOT alone.”

With the reddest eyes the crying Rey looked up and used her sleeve to wash away some of the tears very ungracefully.

“I’m … I’m pregnant,” She managed to finally get out in between sobbing grunts.

A small smile was playing around Leia’s lips that the crying Rey couldn’t see. But the present Rey definitely saw it and raised an eyebrow.

“That’s alright, honey. Have you... told the father?” She inquired.

“Well I … no, I can’t; he won’t speak to me,” Rey said with a voice drenched in pain. Had she really sounded so hurt and desolate back then?

“We can call him right now to join us here and then you can use my room to talk to him privately. He won’t be able to refuse a command from his general.” Leia was trying to help and that made the next part so much harder. But Rey just hadn’t known who else to talk to. Despair was driving her.

“I … Leia, it’s just that. He isn’t on this base. You see … I don’t know how to tell you.” Tears were flowing again. _Oh just get it together_ , Rey thought to herself. Could she blame the pregnancy hormones for her weak communication skills?

“Ben is the father.” There, the bomb was out. Rey was prepared for everything except for what actually happened.

Leia slid down to the floor and took her face into both her hands. “I don’t know how that is possible, but I don’t care.” Tears were streaming down her face now too. (SHE couldn’t use hormones as an excuse though.)

“This is the most beautiful news I have heard since … since … since I lost Ben. I ... May I?” She asked tentatively, hovering her hand over Rey’s belly. “Yes, yes of course,” Rey mumbled. She had never seen Leia so emotional or startled.

Leia put her hand on her belly and whispered to it. “Don’t worry little one, you are SAFE with us. We won’t let anything happen to you. You are … you are special.”

It was hard for Rey to describe what she felt in that moment. Maybe the best word to use would be hope. She felt hope swell in her heart. She felt a warmth hug her. This must be it - this must be what a family’s love felt like. In this bitter galaxy destroyed by endless wars and defined by senseless bloodshed, she and Leia would create a small family. And she swore that moment that she would not ever let any harm come to this little family of hers.

“How? I understand that it might be difficult to talk about it. But I … I would like to know more. Please.”

There was so much pleading in Leia’s voice as she was still holding Rey in a tight embrace on the floor. It seemed as both women didn’t want to let go of each other and preferred to remain on the ground.

“We - we have something he called a 'force bond'. Please don’t ask me more about that, I don’t understand it. I don’t think he does either, although he claims otherwise. We would just appear to each other and we could talk. Initially it infuriated me … I mean after Han … I am sorry ... But ... but we kept on connecting … often late at night when I felt so alone. So we started … we started talking.” Rey took a deep breath.

“The more we talked, the more I … I just started feeling that he was so misunderstood and lonely. He had this ridiculous burden of his grandfather’s legacy. His dangerous potential in the force made him feel so alone. He thought you were all scared of him and therefore sent him away to Luke. He thought you all expected him to fall to the dark side no matter what. When Snoke started talking to him, he was already a broken man… Then he told me about that night on Yavin 4.”

“The night he destroyed the temple and killed everybody,” Leia interrupted with strain in her voice.

“What? Ohem - no, that’s not what happened. He woke up in his room with Luke over him with his lightsaber. He managed to call his own lightsaber when Luke hesitated and then he just ran. Snoke was already waiting with a ship for him. It was so easy to make him feel like he belonged in the First Order … He initially really believed that they could bring peace through power and control. But even when he started doubting it, he had nowhere to return to.”

“Luke did what?” Leia whispered. She had turned a shade whiter and suddenly looked so much older.

“I am so sorry - I thought you knew!” Rey exclaimed. What had she just done?

Leia closed her eyes for a moment. It seemed she was fighting tears. The vase behind her began to shake. Was she … was she fighting with the force inside her? The vase fell to the floor and shattered into thousands of pieces. That made Leia open up her eyes. Rey was starring at her in disbelief. Did Leia have force powers?

“I hope for Luke that we never meet again … how could HE be seduced by the dark side so easily after everything? HE - who could forgive our father and rescue his soul - … HE couldn’t do the same for my son? For Han’s son!”

“I shouldn’t have told you,” Rey uttered. She was crying again. Wow, pregnancy hormones were no joke.

Leia squeezed her hand. “No, no - it’s good you did. I have been wasting so much time looking for Luke. We finally found his location and now I realize that he isn’t the hope I thought he was. He is the opposite - he is the regret and surrender. It … of course it hurts … it’s unforgivable … but it’s better I know. It makes it a little bit easier to understand Ben.” Rey thought that she saw the chest shake now, but she didn’t say anything about it.

“Let’s move on. Please continue.” This was an order Rey could tell.

“Anyway, that day he told me about Luke, I … well I reached out and held his hand through the bond. We had never touched until then. And then …”

Then Rey lost her virginity through a virtual force connection. And how was she supposed to explain that? Considering how long the force had been around that could have written a guide about it by now. Something along the lines “If you are force-sensitive, please don’t believe you won’t get pregnant just because you and your partner are star systems away. Please still use protection.”

Rey cleared her throat awkwardly. “That was three months ago. And I just came back from the medbay with a positive pregnancy test.”

“So you got pregnant over the force bond?” Leia looked skeptically at her.

“We had tried exchanging some objects over the force bond and it had worked before. So I guess this worked too.”

“But he doesn’t know about it?” Leia carefully inquired.

“So … after … you know … the deed,” Rey began to stutter.

Well that had been a brilliant idea. Rey just realized who she was trying to explain to how she got pregnant. _Let’s analyze with the grandmother of your future child how you managed to have sex with her son far far away_ , Rey thought to herself. She would definitely get the award for smartest decision maker of the century.

“Afterwards, I proposed that he join me and the Resistance … I just meant he should come back to us. But he of course misunderstood. He yelled at me that my precious little resistance is all I care about. Then he asked me if I would choose him over the Resistance. I … I hesitated. I didn’t know what to say. I would never choose the first order. But maybe in time I would have chosen a future with him. I didn’t know - I had just joined the Resistance, had met my first friends and yes I had feelings for him, but that question took me by surprise. Anyway, he closed the bond then immediately and hasn’t opened it since. He just won’t talk to me.”

Rey put her arms around herself and tried her best not to shed anymore tears. She didn’t want to flood the whole base.

“My poor child. Don’t worry. Just stop worrying - it doesn’t help anything. It is only worth worrying about problems that don’t have a solution. We will find the solution in due time - now we should just concentrate on you and the baby.”

Leia’s declaration felt like salvation. She was right, they could and would find a solution. Rey’s heart felt lighter all of a sudden.

Leia was happy about that new life in her. That life that was part Rey and part Ben. And Leia’s happiness allowed Rey to relax for a moment and realize that she was happy about it too. Not for one moment did she think about not having the baby. She wanted this baby and she already loved it! Leia was right, they would find a solution to get Ben back.

“Have you thought about a name yet?” Leia suddenly sputtered.

“What … name? No, I don’t really have a reference point with not having had a family and all that.”

“Well, you have a family now!” Leia winked at her. “What about Bail, if it’s a boy? My adoptive father’s name was Bail and he was a very good man. A kind man. And for a girl it could be Beru.”

“I like Bail. I have never heard the name Beru before though,” Rey admitted.

“Well, Beru Lars was Luke’s adoptive mother. He called her an aunt, but she was really a mother to him. I feel like she never got the appreciation she deserved. Both her and my father were killed by the Empire.”

“Beru Solo or Bail Solo.” Rey let the names sound in the room “Both sound very good.”

“Solo …” Leia lost her voice for a moment. “Yes, they do indeed.”

Rey and Leia stayed on her bed for a long time. Leia told Rey everything about Padme and Anakin and about her adventures with Luke and Han up until Ben’s birth and childhood. She never let go of Rey’s hand and Rey found herself laughing at all the troubles Han and Ben used to get into.

When Rey asked her why she told her all of this, Leia replied that she was giving her the most powerful weapon of them all. “I am giving you knowledge. The more you understand, the less mistakes you will make.”

And Rey was listening to every advice that Leia was willing to share. Because from now on she had to protect her child - from the First Order, the Sith and probably itself.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

After this memory Rey and Kylo were back in the darkness. Kylo’s light was now more white and shone stronger than before. The red had diminished to a small shadow around the border.

Rey didn’t really know what that meant. So instead she concentrated on showing him memories of Bail’s childhood. She showed him how Bail took his first steps running towards her and how Bail’s first words were “Bantha poodoo” because he heard Rey use that term when repairing a ship.

Bail was always smiling in a very Han Solo way. Whenever he did something he shouldn’t he would just shrug his shoulders and run away with laughter. Yet his eyes had the gentleness and calmness of Leia. But it was his smile that always reminded Rey the most of Ben. Well and of course also the adorable ears that seemed to just get bigger and bigger poking through his black hair.

Then she showed Kylo how Bail was playing on Leia’s lap and pulling her long hair out of her up-dos.

It was one of those memories when he was playing with Leia, where they remained for longer. Four year old Bail was drawing with some crayons on a piece of paper on the floor in Leia’s room. Leia was sitting next to him and trying to teach him how to write “daddy”. From time to time she would kiss his head or absent-mindedly stroke his hair.

“Nana, where is my daddy? Why is he not with us?” Bail asked with an innocence that was so inherent to a child.

“He ... “ Leia took a deep breath. “He is lost, but your nana and mommy are trying everything to find him.” She managed to say calmly.

“Can you tell me more about him? Does he also fight for the resistance? Mommy always just says that he is a good man, but he doesn’t know it yet. And then I stop asking, because I think I make her sad,” Bail declared not even realizing hot perceptive he was.

“Your mommy just misses him a lot. Of course I will tell you more about him. I can show you a photo where he was as old as you are now.”

“Yes! Yes, that would be great!” Bail squeaked and was instantly standing on his toes to see the photos that Leia was pulling out of a small box that she had hidden by her bed in her chest.

Leia was showing him photo after photo when she heard a noise by the door and looked up.

Rey had been standing in the door for the whole exchange. One lonely tear was slowly rolling down her cheek.

She was about to run away, but Bail was already standing in front of her. He took her hand and started pulling her towards the photos. “Come mommy, you need to see daddy’s ears! They are like mine!“

Rey sat down on the floor and Bail squeezed himself on her lap. They were looking through all the photos, when Bail asked: “Can you please tell me more about daddy.” Rey looked up at Leia, who was looking at her with the sadness that they shared.

“He … he still has the same ears.” Rey forced herself to talk. But it made Bail giggle and that in turn relaxed Rey. “He is very tall and even though he tries to be intimidating he likes cuddles!” Rey started cuddling and tickling Bail. His happy laughter filled the room and Rey embraced him a little bit closer.

It was later, when Bail was already sleeping, that Leia took Rey aside. They were standing in the door to Rey’s room and watching Bail’s little chest rise and fall under the blanket.

“Are you leaving?” she asked while looking at the sleeping form of Bail.

“How did you know?” Rey looked at Leia puzzled. She wasn’t shocked. She had learned that you had to expect everything from Leia.

“I saw it in your eyes. Do you think it’s … the right time?”

“Will there ever be a right time for this? Force knows! Leia, I have to go, Ben won’t connect with me over the force bond. I need to try and get him back. I will tell him that we can choose the resistance or just us. Then he needs to know about Bail..” Rey had made up her mind. She didn’t know if this was the right choice, but she had to try.

“I have a bad feeling about this,” Leia carefully added.

“Look, I will get in, talk to Ben and then get out. I know I can do it. Why are you worried?”

“Well, let’s see - you might die, you might get caught and tortured and then die or you might get caught, turned to the dark side and again - DIE.” Leia affirmed.

“I won’t die. I have the force, right?” Rey was trying to joke, but it had sounded far more funny in her head than when she said it out loud.

“Rey, I know it’s hard for Bail without a father; but it will be even harder without a mother.”

“Leia, we deserve a chance to be a family. Just please watch Bail, while I am gone.” And with that Rey went over to Bail’s bed. She gave him a kiss on his forehead and after stealing one last look, she grabbed her staff and made her way to one of the resistance ships she was going to “borrow”.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Rey didn’t want to be alone in the dark with Kylo’s light, so she bombarded him with the next memory as fast as possible.

She saw herself come out of Kylo’s TIE fighter after she had escaped the Supremacy. The Resistance base was moving and Leia used that as an opportunity to pick up Rey with Bail so that nobody noticed that she had been missing.

Rey was standing in front of the TIE fighter. Her face was harder than it had used to be. There were no tears, but her fists were clenched. Leia came out of her ship holding Bail by the hand and Bail immediately let go and ran to Rey.

Rey’s face immediately softened and returned to its normal features, but a shadow of bitterness remained. She embraced Bail and lifted him up. While pressing his whole little body against hers she kissed his head and started walking with him in her arms towards Leia. “I missed you so much, mommy!” Bail was nuzzling his face into her neck and holding on to her whole body for dear life.

“I am sorry, Chikra. I am back now, I had to go - I had to look for daddy.” She nudged his head with hers so he had to look into her eyes. “Bail, I will always come back for you. I promise.”

Bail nuzzled his head back into her hair. “Did you find daddy?” He whispered

Rey took a deep breath. “No, not yet. I will probably need your help to find him. Will you help me?”

“Yes,” He murmured.

Rey reached Leia, who was holding the ramp open to their ship - a refurbished Lambda-class T4a shuttle.

“Should I even ask?” She said as Rey stood right next to her. While Rey was looking into the shuttle, Leia was looking out into space. They didn’t dare look at each other, but Leia put her hand on her shoulder.

“He has made his choice and it wasn’t me,” Rey forced out.

“Don’t give up hope,” Leia hushed.

This infuriated Rey. Everybody always talked about hope. Maybe hope was for naiv dreamers who didn’t want to accept reality.

“What hope is there? I was so … so stupid, hoping against all reason that he could have done what my parents couldn’t - chose me. I don’t know why I thought that I could push him towards the light side, when none of you could. I thought that I was something special to him I guess. Special enough to make a difference.”

The harshness was back in Rey’s face. She felt like a naive child, yet it was the maturity she had gained since Bail’s birth that didn’t allow her to just blindly believe in a happy ending. The positive naïveté of her youth was no longer there to make her hope endless. Instead it was making place for something far darker and bitter.

“There is always hope,” Leia said with stern belief. How could this woman, who has been betrayed and hurt by everybody who had ever loved her, still hold hope? Did she not realize that life was only about survival? Hope and happiness were secondary.

Leia abruptly turned her head to Rey as if she had heard her thoughts. “A mother never gives up hope for her child. No matter if the whole world has done so and is telling her to do so as well.”

Rey was staring into Leia’s eyes and squeezing Bail to herself as close as physically possible.

“Yes ... yes. That I can understand.” It was true, Rey would never give up hope for Bail. She also hadn’t given up hope for Kylo yet. Her survivor instincts told her to, but her stupid heart insisted on keeping that little sliver of hope. Let’s just hope that it would not become her undoing.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Why Rey was showing Kylo all of those memories she didn’t know. But she was throwing now every memory of the past ten years at him that had anything to do with him. Her head was starting to hurt, but she ignored it and just opened up the next memory.

They were on Brodo Asogi, the greenest planet any of them had ever seen. The Resistance was able to relocate here, because the Asogians had been close friends of Alderaan. It was told that Senator Grebleips had even been invited to the wedding of the Viceroy of Alderaan, Bail Organa.

Rey loved the planet and the natives. It was a simple planet with simple inhabitants. Everything was green and lush.

She was sitting on a green lawn surrounded by trees. Bail was playing with a little Y-wing starfighter that Rey had built for him out of spare metal pieces. He and Kaydal were running circles around her and re-enacting battles the Rebel Alliance had won against the Galactic Empire. Kaydal’s mother had fought in the Rebel Alliance and Kaydal knew more about each battle than even Admiral Ackbar.

Rey was sitting in the grass. Now seven months pregnant with Beru, she was getting more tired with every day. She let her hand slide over the grass and enjoyed the nice warm wind. She tried to meditate. She felt the force around her. It was flowing through everything and she felt the force in Bail and in her unborn child. It was glowing more than anything else around her.

And somewhere far far away, she felt him too. She knew she could open up the bond and hope that maybe he wanted to talk to her. But she was scared. It seemed she had underestimated the influence that Snoke had over Kylo. It seemed he really was his master.

So deep in meditation, she hadn’t heard Finn approach her. He sat down next to her and she jumped.  
“Ha, that’s not the Rey I know! Where is your staff? I should be beaten up already.” He joked.

“Where is BB-8 when you need him!” Rey joked right back.

“I think he is on a mission with Poe,” Finn answered and gave her a jagonfruit donut. Rey grabbed it thankfully and took a bite.

They both were silent for a moment.

“Poe doesn’t really like me?” Rey said in between bites.

When Rey had met Poe, he had been sweet and far too flirty. He was all jokes and inappropriate innuendos. But once she gave birth to Bail, he had become cold and avoided her at all costs. He would talk to Finn, but ignore her and Bail. Rey didn’t understand it. Nobody knew that this was Kylo Ren’s child. It is true that Poe had known Ben when they were younger, but except for the ears and hair the resemblance to him wasn’t too strong. According to Leia, Poe didn’t even know that Ben was Kylo. She couldn’t figure it out and her head was starting to hurt again.

Finn didn’t answer right away. “He … likes you. I think he just doesn’t like that you keep secrets from us.” Rey had refused to tell anybody who the father of her children was. She knew it looked suspicious, but she didn’t care.

They were silent again. Somehow this situation had become uncomfortable and heavy.

“Rey, I mean - you must have known that … that I like you.” Rey looked at him. She hadn’t realized that he had turned towards her and was staring right at her. But there was no anger in his face. He had always been the best friend, she could have expected. He helped her with Bail, often had dinner with her and Leia and ensured that she ate enough when she had morning sickness. Yes, she had suspected that he had feelings for her. But she had accepted his kindness nevertheless.

He was sitting really close to her and Rey panicked for a moment. She was about to say something, but Finn interrupted her.

“Don’t think me stupid. I see that your heart belongs to another. I have made my peace with it. I … A part of me had hoped that you would reciprocate. I love Bail and I was ready to love your second child like one of my own. But I realized that you could have never given me more than friendship and if that’s all that I can get, I will still take it. But what I am trying to say is that … that while I will move on from this with time, I don’t want to move on from you. Ever. I will always be there for you. You won’t be alone and I will protect you and your children.”

All Rey could do was stare at him. How had she managed to go from a scavenger on a devilish planet with no soul that cared for her to a mother of two, who had not one but two people who were willing to fight for her. Leia and Finn were unconditionally caring for her.

You are my first and only real friend.” Rey took his hand and squeezed it. “. “You won’t lose me and I won’t lose you.”

“Good.” Finn said. He scotched a little bit closer to her.

He was talking with so much calmness and resolution. Rey didn’t know where he had found that composure and she was envious of it. She was living in an endless confused state of desire and survivor instincts. Maybe he should be the next Jedi and not her.

“I know it’s him, Rey.” Finn suddenly whispered.

Wait what? She hadn’t expected those words from his lips.

“What do you mean?”

“I know, who the father of your children is.” Finn said slowly. There must have been pure horror in her face, since he grabbed her hand and squeezed it quickly.

“How?” Rey managed to ask.

“Hm, I don’t really know. But I … I don’t know how to describe it. I feel it.” Finn shrugged his shoulders. Was he force-sensitive? Leia had said that Rey’s awakening had been the first in at least a decade. Could there be more awakenings now?

She was going to ask him, but he interrupted her again. “I haven’t told anybody, if that’s what you are worried about.”

“That hadn’t even crossed my mind to be honest, but don’t you … don’t you hate me?” Rey was looking at him intently now. She had begun to absentmindedly touch her belly.

“Hate you? Why would I hate YOU?”

“For … how to put it … ah whatever… sleeping with the enemy?”

“You have the right to sleep with who you want."

"Don't you think he is a dangerous man?"

"All men are dangerous, Rey. And while this is really the most uncomfortable discussion of my life, just to say it out loud here, I am not sure he is our enemy.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, he could have killed me easily twice - the first time on my first mission when I refused to shoot and the second time in the forest. I mean he could have just force choked us to death on Starkiller base and that would have been it. I have seen him do it before. But he didn’t. Maybe ... maybe there is hope.”

“Everybody with all that hope talk around here. You just say that to make me feel better.”

“I …. Oehm … May the force be with you?!” Finn said and they both laughed.

But it wasn’t a happy laughter.

As they were looking at Kaydal, who had lifted up Bail and pretended to land on Endor, Rey thought to herself that at least with the Resistance she could feel safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo … I had to split the chapter in half. It was almost 10,000 words and I didn’t want to drown anybody in plot. I am trying not to overthink it, if it was the right decision or not. 
> 
> Also please note that I have spent over an hour googling correct conversation quotations and commas (Owlcation is great btw) but I am pretty sure that I am still using German comma rules throughout … sorry! I am trying to fix them all, but please let me know, if you catch one.


	4. Chapter 4

What do we do when something scares us? We hesitate. It is probably an ingrown self-defense mechanism that is supposed to make us rethink a dangerous action. 

And the next memories scared Rey. 

Because it was the second betrayal by her “family”. How many betrayal’s could one being endure? Was it surprising that she probably would never trust again? If she was honest with herself, she had always expected Kylo’s to betray her. That's why she immediately assumed that he would bring her to Snoke. It didn’t hurt any less; but subconsciously she had been ready for it. 

But not in her wildest dreams would she have imagined to be hurt by the ones she trusted unconditionally - the Resistance, her family. Maybe she should have seen it coming sooner. But then again we like to make ourselves believe that we are safe. 

Rey concentrated and was about to pull Kylo deeper into her mind, but that's when she hesitated. She knew she had to show those memories to Kylo, but what she feared was his reaction. His passion and love so easily transformed into obsession and fury. Maybe it was because he was so connected to the dark side. Maybe it was just him.

Then again, he had said that he had already killed the Resistance. Shouldn’t she actually feel more sorrow about it? Instead the darkness in her rejoiced at justice having been done. 

The darkness was coming easier and easier to her now, while the light was beginning to evade her. It was the bitterness about those memories she was about to show him that had poisoned her heart. 

Yet she knew that she had to be stronger than this. In one of the older texts they found on Galucia, she read how everybody had both light and dark in them. We are not born into one or the other, but have potential for both. It is purely our decision, which path we want to follow.

And she had chosen the grey path. She shall be no Jedi and no Sith. 

But before she could concentrate again, everything began to shake. 

Her first reaction was that they were being attacked. How foolish of her to let the children unprotected. Had she not learned anything? This had been such a bad idea, it left them far too vulnerable. 

Drowning in panic she started pulling them out of their bond and the force meditation. But when she opened up her eyes, everything was peaceful. Nobody was shooting at them and no bombs were going off. No glass was shattering and no people were dying. 

She was back sitting on the floor in Kylo’s conference room in the Supremacy. Everything seemed the same as before. The carpet under her legs was still soft, the weird light in the room was making her uncomfortable like before and the big table was still utterly destroyed. Even the galaxy through the window seemed harmonious. 

That’s when she realized that it hadn’t been bombs that shook them in their memory exchange. It had been the impatient knocking coming from one of the doors. 

She tried to let go of Kylo’s hands and stand up, but he was holding her hands in an iron grip. He thumbs were absentmindedly massaging circles into her knuckles as if he was savoring every touch of her he could get. It was such an innocent action, yet it felt suggestive. That’s why she froze, when he yelled “Come in” and yet did not stop rubbing her hands. 

No later had he uttered the words that the door burst open. A thin man with meticulous hair of a reddish color walked in. The man at first seemed unimpressive. While tall, he lacked the presence of power that Kylo carried with him. His face seemed to disappear in its own paleness.

But when he started walking into the room, there was cruel strength in his step. His gloved hands were fisted behind him and his back was so straight Rey wondered if he could even sit. It was his eyes that betrayed intelligence. This was not a man who should be underestimated. 

Maybe it was his facial expression of utter annoyance that were further enhanced through the black uniform that made Rey dislike him immediately. He looked at Kylo as if he was his annoying younger brother, who once again did something incompetent. 

Kylo didn’t move, but merely lifted his head. “What is it, Grand General Hux?” He said the title with a little grin on his face. 

“We couldn’t reach you on the comm; Kylo! There is a situation, you were needed in the strategy room like two hours ago.”

“Aren’t you forgetting something, Grand General?”

“Are you kriffin’ kidding me, when we are alone I need to call you Emperor as well?”

“We are NOT alone.”

How Hux had not instantly seen her, Rey had no idea. True, she was sitting close to the window and one of the window frames was throwing a shadow on her, but Kylo was holding her hands right in front of Hux.

Oh yes, he actually should stop doing that. She tried to pull her hands away and this time Kylo let her. But not before he squeezed them lightly one more time. 

Hux’s face changed immediately when he saw Rey. It seemed he attempted to smile with little success however. “You found her! That explains a lot actually.”

He looked Rey down and up and then reached his hand out. “I am Grand General Armitage Hux.” Rey hadn’t expected this reaction at all, so she awkwardly shook his hand. He kept on analyzing her unabashedly, which made her even more irritated. 

With one more attempt at a smile, he turned towards Kylo. “I am sorry to interrupt, but we have a serious situation. There was an attack on New Mandalore 2 on Queen Wren and Senator Kryze. We are pretty sure the AFL is behind it.”

“There was an attack again? Where? How many are dead? What about Queen Wren?” Kylo was standing now and scrolling through his datapad.

“The attack was in Sundari. Five people are dead - two guards and three passerbys. Senator Kryze was injured, but is alive. Queen Wren wasn’t harmed. However, the Senator wants to talk to you as soon as possible.” 

“What is the AFL?” Rey jumped in not being able to control her curiosity. 

“Wait, what? How do you not know? Where have you been in the last years?” Hux was staring at her in utter disbelief.

“Relax, Armie.” Kylo said under his nose in a tone that didn’t allow for contradictions. 

Now it was Rey’s turn to stare at Kylo in pure confusion. Had he just called him “Armie”? As far as she remembered the resistance intel had reported that Hux hated Kylo and was working against him. It was pretty obvious to her that Hux would kill Kylo in a heartbeat to become Emperor himself. 

“Oh you Nerf Herder, you know that I hate that nickname.”

“You let Phasma use it.”

Hux turned ten different shades of red. “That’s different.”

“Anyway; the AFL is the “Anti-Force Legion”, it’s a terrorist organization that believes that force users are the cause of all wars and evil in the galaxy. They have been hunting force users for several years now. But in the last months they have expanded their attacks … they killed every member of the church of the force on Jakku.” Kylo said the last bit very slowly. Rey could see that he was gauging her reaction. She wasn’t sure why. She didn’t care about Jakku nor the Jedi or its churches. 

What interested her far more was the threat the AFL posed to her children. And who had thought of that lame name for a terrorist organization anyway?

“What do you mean that they hunt down force users.” 

“Well, they try to kill whoever is force-sensitive or connected to the Jedi or Sith. We don’t really have much information about them. They used to only go after the Church of the Jedi, since they were the only visible group connected to the force. But they have gained more followers in the last years. Now they also try to target politicians, who officially stand behind Kylo,” Hux said.

“They have a manifesto they published for the whole galaxy to read. It analyzes all the wars going back to the Old Republic and argues that it was all just a power fight between dark and light side users of the force. More recently, they blame the Jedi Order for the Clone Wars and Palpatine for the Galactic Empire. They blame me for everything more recent,” Kylo added.

Well, they had a point as Rey thought about it. But who gave them the right to play god and kill who they wanted? What fault did she and her children have for the mistakes of those before her? She didn’t ask to be born with the force, but this AFL felt entitled to kill her because of something that was out of her control. 

Her darkness was stretching its grip on her again. She felt it surround her and whisper into her ear, “You should kill them first, so they can’t harm the ones you love.”

“What about Snoke? Don’t they blame Snoke?” Rey tried to distract herself from her dark thoughts.

“Well, most don’t really know that Snoke existed. They only ever saw Kylo go around throwing tantrums and kill everybody. Even if there were rumors that there was a creepy old dude pulling the strings, it is easier to believe that Kylo was behind it all.”

“Thank you for that elaborate explanation, Armie.” Kylo was starring daggers at Hux now. 

Kylo must have felt her increasing anger, because he dropped his data pad and walked up to her. He placed his hands on both her shoulders. 

“Don’t worry, you are safe here. We won’t let anything happen to you or the kids.”

Her first instinct was to relax. His smell and touch made her feel so safe. And how nice would it be to finally loosen up and let go of this constant survivor awareness. But her mind reminded her of the last time she felt safe and how that had ended. She didn’t hit his hands away, but she gently moved out of his grip.

“I can take care of them and myself. I don’t need anybody’s protection.”

If he was hurt, he didn’t let it show at all this time. Instead he lifted her chin up with his long fingers. “We will see.”

Hux pretended he didn’t witness the awkward moment and continued in his professional voice. “Also Ushar said that you need to schedule a Knights meeting. He has a lead that he claims leads to a re-established Brotherhood of the Darkness.”

This enraged Kylo. He let go of her chin and stomped towards Hux. “Wait what? A new Sith organization? That’s impossible! They are all dead. Snoke made sure that both them and Sith Eternal were eradicated. I was part of those missions.” He started walking up and down the room between Hux and Rey.

“How can you tell me this so calmly?” Kylo attacked Hux. 

“I seriously only understand every third word when you guys start talking about Sith and Jedi. I don’t know why you expect us normal humans to comprehend all this mumbo jumbo. Can you please just ask him? From what I understood it's just more people who want to kill us - I will add them to the list.”

Kylo stopped in front of her then. He was looking at her intently and she didn’t know what he was expecting. Was he looking for fear? He wouldn’t find any. He would have more luck with anger.

But Hux was right. She also had no idea what the brotherhood of darkness was. It’s not like there was a force history book she could have studied. So she just lifted her head proudly and starred right back.

The concern in Kylo’s eyes disappeared and he genuinely smiled at her. 

Then with resignation in his eyes he turned to Hux. “Can you ask Phasma to come and show Rey and the children to the medbay.”

“Phasma? That’s not really part of her duties.” Hux seemed annoyed now.

“Look, I trust her. Can you ask her for the favor?”

“Yes … Wait, did you just say “children”? As in plural? I thought you were looking for her and your daughter? Who else did you find along the way again!”

“Well, it seems I have a ten year old son.”

“Oehm … what? how? With Rey?!!!!”

“Obviously with Rey, with who else? Seriously, can we talk about this later?”

“I mean this is kind of interesting. Let’s postpone those meetings - terrorists and Sith can wait.”

“Armie, you are getting on my nerves, now can you call Phasma?”

Rey was watching the exchange in disbelief. Their intel was obviously beyond wrong. This wasn’t a war between two power hungry men - it was some form of friendship.

“Sure, Emperor.” Hux giggled. He giggled! This was more scary than any organization that wanted to kill her. 

“Rey, Phasma will take you to the medbay. You three need a total check through and the required immunizations. There are a lot of species on the ship and I don’t want you to get sick.” Kylo tried to change the topic obviously.

Then he looked at her one last time and left the room followed by Hux, who gave her an awkward wave. She could however still hear Hux talk as they were walking down the hallway. “Don’t you think, I didn’t see that destroyed table. I knew we still needed the Kylo Anger Management Budget!”

Rey had to fight a smile. There was a warmth in her as if she had been invited to a family where two brothers were fighting. It made her remember Finn and Poe bickering. She immediately dismissed it all, before bitterness would overwhelm her again. She didn’t need a family to belong to; she was creating her own with her kids. 

She walked back to the bedroom and stood in the door for a moment looking at her children sleeping. 

Was she willing to risk their lives trusting Kylo? True, Snoke was dead - but was his influence over Kylo as well? Should she think about escaping? But where would they go? And was that AFL or darkness brotherhood a threat to them as well? 

She wished she could ask Leia for advice. Where was Leia? Kylo had said that he didn’t kill her, but that didn’t mean that she was alive. Rey had always had a hard time feeling Leia in the force. As if she was actively shielding herself. 

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Thankfully, Bail started waking up and Rey decided to for now concentrate on her children. She could worry later alone. 

“What the kriff, did we lose?” Bail said as he opened up his eyes and looked around in bewilderment. Rey tried very hard not to smirk. It was ridiculous how much he reminded her of Han. “Please watch your language, young one.” she joked. 

“Oh R’iia, mom - don’t call me that. You know I want to be a Sith. Call me your apprentice instead.” He gave her the biggest smile with that sentence knowing very well how Rey ridiculed the self imposed titles the Jedi and the Sith had implemented on themselves. 

Bail threw his legs over the bed. “You know, I totally had him before Beru walked in. He had no chance against me.” He smiled brightly at her.

“Oh yeah and what would you have done once you had him?” Rey asked jokingly.

“I would have frozen him in mid air and not let him go until he apologizes to you.” Bail said and shrugged his shoulders. Rey had to swallow a chuckle.

“Is this a Resurgent-class Star Destroyer? Can we please check it out?” Bail was already distracted and trying to contain his excitement - he loved mechanics as much as her. 

“I don’t think running around a ship, where we are technically prisoners and who knows who will shoot us is a great idea. Can you please help me wake up your sister? I don’t want her to be scared when she wakes up.” 

“Beru - scared? Have you met her?” This was true. While Beru looked like a little copy of Rey, her fearlessness reminded Rey more of Leia. Nobody could intimidate this girl and nobody could stop her if she thought she was doing the right thing. Which was far too often. 

They both gently cuddled Beru until she woke up. Immediately she sat upright and looked around her. “We are in space?” she asked. “Yes, look, don't be worried. We are visiting your dad for a little bit.” Rey said realizing how stupid it sounded considering the last thing her daugther remembered was running away from her dad in a jungle.

“That’s great! I am so happy that my plan worked!” Beru was smiling and wiggling her feet. Both Rey and Bail gave each other a look. 

“Would you like to explain that a little bit more?” Rey asked as composed as she could. 

“Well, do you remember the day my powers awoke and I by accident jumped into Bail’s mind?” Rey and Bail nodded. Whereas Bail’s powers had quickly manifested in physical strength, Beru’s powers immediately showed her talent for the mind. 

“So … mommy don’t be angry. But that night, when you thought we were sleeping; I by accident jumped into your mind. And I saw you cry and miss daddy. So I searched for him with my head and I found him! We talked and he said that he misses you too and he wants to get to know me. So I told him where we were and he promised to come get us.” Beru was beaming from ear to ear with pride. 

There were no words to describe the facial expressions of Rey and Bail in this moment. 

“Well, I be dam…” 

“Watch, your language, Bail!”

Bail laid back in Kylo’s bed. “Sorry, sorry … just wanted to stress that I really didn’t see this coming.”

Beru looked at him concerned. “You aren’t happy to meet daddy?”

“Which part about dangerous Sith with big crazy red lightsaber did you not understand, sis?”

“That would be enough, Bail. Thank you for your input.” Rey jumped in. 

“I have more.”

“I wouldn’t expect any less.”

Bail let out a snort. “This will be fun. I was getting seriously bored on Galucia.”

Rey rolled her eyes and sat down next to Beru. 

“Oh honey, I explained to you that we can’t join daddy, because he is being haunted by a very evil being.”

Rey had explained to the children as much as she could about everything from the Empire, to Darth Vader to Snoke and why she couldn’t have stayed with Kylo Ren honestly; she believed that she could only protect them if they knew everything they could. She had never said any ill word about their father though. 

She stressed that he was dangerous and that she wasn’t sure they could trust him because of Snoke’s influence. But maybe she should have been more blunt about the danger he posed to them? She just couldn’t bring it over herself to taint the only being she had ever truly loved to his own children. 

It had supposed to be up to him to explain his crimes to them. Rey had had this grand plan that they would find every single thing connected to the force until she and her children understood it all - the light, the dark and the grey. Then they would destroy Snoke and free Kylo. The children would have been old enough and powerful enough to then decide what to do with their relationship with their father. Now of course Rey saw all the flaws in her grand plan. For example the flaw, that her daughter could somehow communicate with her father over thousands of light years and just tell him where they were. 

“Oh don’t worry about that! I asked daddy and he said that he killed the evil guy. You see I checked!” 

Thankfully Phasma appeared before Rey could start banging her head against the wall. The door opened and the tallest and blondest woman Rey had ever seen stepped into the room. He hair was basically white and had been cut extremely short. She was wearing a very well-tailored uniform with the same new emblem. However, she had a staff strapped to her back. Rey was eyeing it suspiciously. 

Finn had told her about Phasma and it was needless to say that he wasn’t a fan of her. He described her as ruthless and brutal. 

“Hello.” Phasma said in a cold and authoritative voice. “I am Phasma, I am here to take you to the medbay and then to your rooms.”

Rey nodded, but Beru jumped down the bed. “Hello, I am Beru and this is my mommy and my brother Bail.”

“Nice to meet you.” Phasma shook Beru’s outstretched hand and gave her an unbelievably warm smile. 

The trip to the medbay was uneventful. Some droids checked them and gave them the required immunizations. It seemed that Phasma was a woman of few words, which Rey was thankful for. 

Next, Phasma brought them to two rooms that were adjacent to Kylo’s bedroom. They entered into the room further away and Phasma declared that it was the room for the children. There was a big bed in the corner of the room facing a wide window showcasing the galaxy. 

“I need to share a bed with Beru again?” Bail asked.

“Please deliver all complaints directly to the Emperor.” Phasma smiled. 

There was a small kitchen area and a fresher. Beru walked into the kitchen and grabbed a Muja fruit. She grabbed a juicy bite of it and giggled with delight as juices were dripping down her chin. 

“Hey, I want one too.” Bail announced and jumped into the kitchen. 

“Do you know where the force artifacts and books from our ship have been brought to?” Rey asked Phasma. 

“They are in your room; follow me.” Phasma declared and opened up the connecting door to the second room. 

“Thank You …” Rey didn’t get any further. She stood still in the door and Bail and Beru ran into her. Her room looked like a mirror image of the kids room, but right next to her bed on a little night table stood a pot with a nightbloomer. This rare plant was the only thing that could bloom on Jakku. 

Right next to the plant lay a little alliance pilot doll. Rey didn’t hear what else Phasma said. She walked over and lifted the doll of the table. It was definitely her doll, the one she had made on Jakku as a child. How did it end up here? 

“What is that!?” Beru was standing right next to her and pulling on the doll. 

“This was my doll,” Rey said. 

“It’s the perfect friend for Jar Jar!” Beru announced. Rey smiled at her and gave her the doll. Beru cuddled it into her other stuffed animal and jumped on the bed. 

“Rey? Did you hear me?” Phasma asked her. 

“Oh, no sorry - what did you say?” Rey turned around to Phasma, who was standing by another door. 

“This door connects directly to the Emperor’s bedroom,” Phasma said with a suspicious smirk. 

Rey turned red and only starred at Phasma. The woman kept on smiling and started walking to the other door that let back to the corridor. 

“There are some clothes for you and Beru in the closets. We didn’t know about Bail, so I will have to organize something. But he seems very tall for his age, so it shouldn’t be a problem. 

Anyway, I need to be going.I have some stormtroopers to scream at. They set one of the training rooms on fire. Again. You just can’t leave them alone with those Z6 riot control batons.”

“Phasma, wait …” Rey tried to recapture her composure. 

“Yes?” Phasma looked at her inquisitive.

“Thank you, for taking care of us.”

“Of course, I would have never missed out on meeting the woman who broke Kylo.” Phasma’s smile widened even further. 

“Oehm … anyway … Is there a training room? We used to train daily and I don’t want to destroy any more tables.” Rey smiled innocently. 

“Ha! That was you? Hux owns me 10 credits. I get it - I like to train daily too. Yes, yes - let me show it to you.” She looked at her datapad. “There is no reservation for it. I will reserve it quickly for you.” She clicked like crazy on her datapad. 

They all walked back out to the corridor. Beru was cuddling both her toys now and Bail had taken three more Muja fruits. 

“Could we also get datapads? Mom said we can’t explore the ship, so it will get rather boring.” Bail declared. Rey glanced at him. How was it that both her children felt so comfortable on a foreign ship? 

“Sure, I will get you three and make sure they have access to the Holonet and our internal movie collection. You will love “Acceleration” - I loved it at your age.” Phasma answered. 

“What is it about?” Bail asked. 

“This terrorist plants a bomb on a starferry between Coruscant and Metellos. The bomb will go off if it goes faster than 500kph. There is this Coruscant police cop Jacal Travenus, who gets on the starferry to rescue everybody.”

“Wow - this sounds awesome!!!” Bail confirmed. 

“My favorite character is Anara - who is also on the ship and ends up driving it, because the pilot gets shot. There is a great romance between both her and Jacal,” Phasma said with a wink to Rey. 

Rey didn't really know how to reply. Phasma seemed to know far too much about romance it seemed. 

Bail took over for her. “That is disgusting. I hope there are more explosions than kissing!”

Phasma rolled her eyes. “Don’t worry - it’s primarily explosions …”

“Can we watch it tonight, mommy?” Bail started pleading. 

“Yeah … I guess, sure …” Rey still couldn’t believe that they were Kylo’s prisoners on the Supremacy and her son was having a blast talking to Phasma - the Phasma that tormented Finn - about space action movies. But everybody else seemed just fine adjusting to this new normal. 

“Here we are.” Phasma opened up the door. 

This was the training room from Kylo’s memory Rey realized. In the middle was the big circle with various colored lines. The walls were covered in an array of weapons. Fighting droids were charging to the other side. 

“Oh my god, mom, they have vibroswords!” Bail exclaimed and ran up to analyze them. Beru followed him and started pulling out plasma grenades from a closet. 

“Oh Beru, please don’t play with those!” Rey exclaimed as Phasma chuckled to herself. 

Suddenly, somebody cleared their throat. Rey froze and turned around to the other side of the room. Two figures were standing in a second ring Rey hadn’t seen before and staring at them. 

“Well, well - who do we have here, Ushar?” The taller one was wearing pants but no shirt. His broad shoulders were covered in the most disgusting scars. He had a black helmet on, so you couldn’t see his face. 

“If this isn’t Master’s Jedi girlfriend, Vicrul?” The other one said. He was shorter than the other man, but his muscles were even wider. He also was wearing no shirt, but only black pants. He however had no helmet on. His face was not bad looking, but there was something inhuman about him. He had three red dots - one on his forehead and one on each cheek. His very short hair had patterns shaved into it and his neck and arms were covered in tattoos. Rey could make out some Sith runes itched into his skin as well even though they were overgrown with scars. 

He was looking at Rey intently and Rey was very uncomfortable. 

“Let’s see what you are made of.” He smiled and pointed his war club at her. 

He stepped one step towards her, but in that moment Rey heard the unmistakable noise of a lightsaber being turned on. Bail had positioned himself in front of her and had raised his weapon. Beru had run behind Rey and was holding on to her tunic. Rey searched her feelings, but didn’t find fear - more intrigue. 

“Don’t even think of coming closer to her.” Bail announced. The one who seemed to be named Ushar smiled even more. He put his war club on his back. 

“Jedi girlfriend and children? Kylo! I had no idea he had it in him.” 

“Show some respect for Master Ren.” Vicrul said and put his hand on the other man’s shoulder. 

“You are no fun, Vicrul. The whole galaxy was searching for this girl - I want to know what the fuss is all about. And come on - Kylo has kids? He isn’t exactly father of the year!” Ushar was giggling in amusement to himself. 

“We have this room reserved.” Phasma stood now next to Bail. She seemed unfazed by the wielded lightsabers and war clubs. 

“Oh, Phasmy - don’t be such a stickler. You know Vicrul can’t use a datapad if his life depended on it.”

“I would kindly ask you to leave now,” Phasma said and put her hand on her staff. 

“Nah - I want to watch Jedi babies train.”

“First of all, I would like for you not to insult us as Jedi.” Rey had used the force to pull Phasma and Bail behind her and stepped forward. She flicked off Bail’s lightsaber ignoring his protests.

She closed her eyes and reached out her hand. A staff from the wall floated into it. It was made from Phrik, she could feel it. Yes, this would do. It would do well. She swirled it around herself and positioned herself in an attack position with the staff behind her held by one hand while she stretched the other one out and pointed it towards Ushar. 

“Second, I wouldn’t underestimate somebody just because they are a girl.” and with that she made a “come here” move with her outstretched hand. 

Ushar didn’t waste a second. With the biggest smile he threw himself at her. He lifted his war club into the air ready to smash into her. But Rey flipped into the air and landed behind him in the ring. Ushar’s club smashed into the floor where Rey had been standing and left a huge dent in the floor. 

But Ushar was faster than he looked. Within seconds he was in the ring with Rey and smashed the spot where she was standing again. Rey jumped away and used the moment to poke his ribs with her staff. But she never got the hit in, because Ushar used the other end of his club to push her away. 

Using the momentum Rey bounced off his shoulder and landed on the pillar of the ring balancing on one foot. Usher tried to hit her leg with the war club, but Rey was already in the air landing behind him. 

With her staff she pulled his feet up and he landed on the floor with a thud. Rey was on the other side of the ring now and put her staff in front of her so it was standing on the floor. She was holding it with both hands and her feet were on their tip toes. She was ready for the next attack. 

“Yeah - go mom!!!” Bail was screaming from the side. But Ushar was already on his feet and with full force smashed his war club at Rey. Rey blocked the attack with her staff. The phrik material didn’t even shiver at the impact of the war club. Nevertheless, Rey was now on one knee pushing against Ushar, who was forcing his whole body weight against her. He was smiling at her and Rey couldn’t resist and smiled back. She was having fun. 

“Enough.” A loud modulated voice sounded through the room. A tall figure in full black gear and a black helmet was standing in the room.

“What are you thinking you are doing here?” The modulated voice asked.

“We were just having some fun, Ap’lek.” Ushar replied as he stepped back. He put the war cub back on his back holding it with one hand and reached his other one out to lift up Rey. Rey grabbed his outstretched hand and he pulled her up. 

“You fight impressively, Non-Jedi.”

“I can say the same for you.”

“But you have a few flaws that show that you are self-taught. It makes for an unpredictable combat style though.”

“Kylo would pull out every limb of yours, if he knew that you attacked his little lover.”

Rey’s face burned red. Why did everybody here assume that they could joke about her and Kylo’s relationship.

“You know how prickly he is about her. And what on earth are the kids doing here? Bring them immediately to the other foundlings.” Ap’lek pointed his vibro ax at Bail and Beru. 

“Those are Kylo’s.” Ushar’s smile was now too big for his face.

“Say what?” Ap’lek froze in his pose.

“Those are Master Ren’s children. You know tall and broody - Emperor of the galaxy, last Sith Lord, Snoke killer.” Ushar was beyond amused and he wasn’t hiding it. 

Ap’lek’s helmet was pointed towards Ushar, but he wasn’t saying anything. Vicrul stepped up to Ushar and forcefully put a helmet on his head. 

“You are so professional, my dear Knight of Ren. May I propose a cold shower?” And with that he pushed Ushar out of the room. 

“It was a pleasure to fight you, Force mom! Hope to do it again soon.” Ushar was yelling through his mask in a modulated voice while he tried to hold on to the door. 

Rey couldn’t fight a smile on her face. “The pleasure was all mine.”

“I apologize for Ushar - he is rather unpredictable. We will leave the room to you now.” And with that Ap’lek left the room as well. 

“Well, that was fun.” Phasma declared. “I think you can take care of yourself - really nice moves by the way. I will leave you here. Here is a comm link. If you can’t find the way back to your rooms, just call me on it.” 

Phasma turned around and started walking out of the room. 

“And don’t worry, Bail - I will get you the datapads with a saved movie list of my favorite movies.”

“Awesome, thank you!” Bail declared as he jumped into the ring with Rey. 

Phasma left the room and Bail put his lightsaber back on his belt. He reached out a hand and an electro staff flew into it. “So cool, I have always wanted to try one.”

“Beru, what are you doing?” Rey inquired looking over to where Beru was sitting. 

“I am playing house.” Beru declared. She had build a house out of grenade launchers and was putting her stuffed toy and Rey’s old doll into the “house”. 

“Would you like some tea, Jar Jar?” she said and giggled. 

“Those are empty launchers. Beru?” Rey inquired warily. 

“Yes, yes mommy. Mesa want tea.” 

Bail rolled his eyes. “I will never get her obsession with Gunganese.”

“I mean, it is kind of funny. E-squeeze me, yousa turn.” Rey giggled. 

“Moooom, please stop - it hurts my brain.”

“Make me!”

“Okay!” And with that Bail threw himself with his staff at Rey. 

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Several hours later Kylo stood in front of the door to Rey’s chambers with his hand lifted to knock. It seemed he was thinking about something intently. He fisted his hand harder and then knocked not so gently. 

No answer. 

He knocked again even more forcefully. It seemed the door might break any moment. But still no answer. With an annoyed huff, he tipped in the access code. The door slid open and Kylo stepped in. 

“Rey, Ap’lek talked to me …” But he stopped in his tracks as hadn’t been prepared for the view he encountered. 

Rey and Bail were hovering over the table in meditative poses. In between them was a holocron shining in different shades of blue and it engulfed both their faces in shadows from teal to light blue. 

Everything around them was floating as well. There were chairs and pillows in the air. Cups and lamps were floating from side to side. There was even water drifting out of a cup and little droplets were floating in front of Kylo’s face. He poked one with his finger and it dispersed into ten more little droplets. 

Without warning he saw Beru floating in front of him. She was holding her stuffed toy in one hand and Rey’s old doll in another. She was jumping from one floating chair to another trying to pop bubbles of what must have been soup. She jumped off from one chair and did a flip landing on the other. From there she jumped up and caught a drop of orange soup with her mouth. She then bounced on the chair and jumped off high again to just float by the window. 

He couldn’t believe that such a beautiful and sweet girl could be his daughter. Her brown hair was pulled up into Rey’s signature three buns and they were bouncing while she was jumping. She smiled at him with pure joy and swallowed another drop of soup. 

He looked over to Bail, who was floating alongside Rey. His longer black hair was all over the place and the clothes were hanging from his thin and too tall form. From his little interaction with him, he could tell that he was powerful and fearless. But his humor reminded him painfully of Han. Han would have been so proud to have two grandchildren. 

The images from the holocron started to increase and Kylo could see that Rey and Bail were now in the Chommell sector. Kylo had never seen anything like this before. He didn’t meditate much anymore and his only memories of meditation had been painful hours of sitting on cold rocks in stiff positions with Luke staring at him disappointedly. This was something entirely different. 

The force was so strong in the room, but it wasn’t stressed. It wasn’t being pushed like with the dark side, nor was it being pulled like with the light side. It was just here peacefully flowing through Rey and Bail. He looked at the holocron more closely and saw little images of the galaxy flicker back and forth. Were their minds traveling the galaxy together? Was that even possible?

He looked at Rey and had to resist the urge to kiss her. She looked more beautiful than ever to him. Her hair was longer and she was wearing it now in one loose bun, but little strands had escaped and were cupping her face. Her body was more muscular than he remembered as he analyzed her arms flexing on her knees. 

Suddenly, the force started tugging him into the room closer and closer to Rey. It was an irresistible pull. Their bond had never been so strong and her emotions started to flow into him uncontrollably.

There was fear, anger and sadness that threatened to drown Rey. She was still in control though. She was not ignoring those feelings like the Jedi used to nor was she letting them lead her. Instead she controlled them and let them embolden and strengthen her. Kylo was impressed as he had never known that you could use your emotions this way. 

He also felt a shadow of happiness in her that she thought the most and a thought betrayed him. Could she be happy to be united with him again? 

At his last thought Rey opened up her eyes. The force had dragged Kylo close to her floating form and she reached out her hand to entwine her fingers with his. 

He was immediately pulled into a force vision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The soup was inspired by Solia's breathtakingly amazing story "Black Gloves, Orange Soup". Thank you so much Solia for letting me use this reference as a tribute to your story. 
> 
> Thank you very much AlexFlex, schoessling and IndiannahJones for beta-ing!
> 
> Dear readers, thank you for reading this story. I'm currently trying to figure out where I want to take it and also know it needs a lot of re-writing. I'm going to focus on my other story "Dogmatic" for now, and I'll return to this later. Thank you for being part of the journey.


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